Tuesday, January 15

Leafs Win. Say, "Wow, It's Way Better Than Losing!"

A couple of very uncommon things happened in the world today. One was that I spent the afternoon at Moose's house and actually enjoyed myself, and the other was that the Leafs won their hockey game, 5-4 against L' Ouragans du Caroline. This is the first win for my darlings since, I think 1954/55, or was it 55/56? No, no, it was 54/55. I'm also happy to report that the Leafs won in convincing fashion, playing a full 60 minute game. Well maybe a 45 minute game, really pushing to start the second, and looking good down the line(s) after that.

Joe Bowen and Greg Millen were really pumping up Anton Stralman, and with good reason. He looked great during the game, and as far as I'm concerned, most of the games he's been in. Kubina played well too, minus that "let's keep it interesting" moment with 5 seconds left. He was obviously trying to avenge Ponikarovsky's unshot pulled goalie goal against the Canes and score into the open net, as I distinctly heard him yell "Dis is one for juo, Poni'ez" which is weird because I should never have been able to hear that, and because I just discovered how hard it is to write a convincing Czech language accent.
Blake was buzzing all night during a really entertaining game. Matt Stajan looked strong, and well, well, well, you know who added a little spark? Mr. Dom Moore, thank you very much. You know who looked to take away a little spark, Mr. Andy "Cory Cross" Wozniewski. I don't know if any of you remember what Cory Cross looked like in a Leafs uniform...well, of course he looked physically awesome, as we have the fuckin studliest outfits since The Knights of the Round Table. What I mean is, he usually played hockey badly, was always a liability, prone to doing exactly the wrong thing at the wrong time. Ask Moose. The Oilers were saddled with Cross two teams after us. Woz is starting to look like that. I know everyone gets out the sharpest cutlery for Wozniewski (I'm looking generally in your direction, JaredofLondon) so I don't have to. I'll remain fair and impartial and say only that Wozniewski reminds me of one of the Leafs most untrustable defensemen in their entire long and storied history.

When I saw that the Canes were starting Michael Leighton, I thought, "How queer!" Then I realized that I was just looking at Moose's taste in furniture. Then I saw who the Canes were starting in net, and I thought, "Really? Michael Leighton?", and it struck me that he must be from Ontario and was therefore about to shut us out, as shitty goalies from the GTA/Ontario always do. I've written about this diabolical yet true phenomena before, using my natural flair and creativity.

We have so much to talk about, don't we? I'm going to write more fully soon about the newest developments in the pathetic and despicable de Sade like handling of John Ferguson Jr. by MLSE. JFJ, whether you like him as a GM or not, is a class act as a person. He is constantly demeaned and demoralized by these rich cocksuckers who hired him and he NEVER strikes back with any bullshit of his own; refusing to wallow in the same trough that those ruinous pigs Richard Peddie and Larry Tanenbaum.
JFJ has gathered a lot of sympathy from around the league, and will land on his feet after he is finally freed from the gallows his ACC gondola has become.

I know that Norte has some thoughts on this, as well as "Oh, gee wiz, do I really have to write about the Leafs?" Moose. Until we're lucky enough to read those, here are some archived posts I uploaded from Heaven just for you: In this one I write nice things about JFJ, and in this one, I call Peddie an asshole, TWICE! It's like kissing sisters!


Norte said...

Nice post Greener...
and you're right...I am awesome.

Jaredoflondon said...

Woznewski doesn't deserve sharpened cutlery.
Dull and rusty is the only way.

Chemmy said...

jared unfairly picks on Woz, I think Andy is a fantastic defenceman with top four potential.


Norte said...

Chemmy...are you talking about hockey

Moose said...

Who drank all my juice?

Moose said...

Wait...did that sound gay?