OK, This is Some Bullshit

Alright, this was the cover of the lowest common denominator newspaper Toronto Sun yesterday. This is after the first two games of the season, where the Leafs took the Eastern Champions, and one of the most deadly teams in the league to two one-goal games:

Ok. This is some fuckin bullshit. You cannot absolutely tell me that this wasn't something that was planned in advance. This is some of the most cynical, biased reporting I have ever seen. By cynical I don't mean that it isn't positive and gung-ho about the Leafs chances. I mean that it is so clearly thought up to take advantage of a situation and exploit the passions of the Leaf fan base who have no option but to coin up and sup from the trough of such slop. No option because this is the only thing that gets printed about the Leafs in Toronto.

I only realized this after I moved away. The hysteria that surrounds the team astounds me. The microscopic detail that each and every move the team makes is claustrophobic at best, strangulating at worst.

I've written here before about the typical Toronto media response to Leaf woes, and I especially wrote the shit out of this article about its main asshole proponent, Howard Berger. A man who right at this moment, has spaghetti sauce in his mustache. There is such a culture of "EVERYTHING WITH THE LEAFS IS HORRIBLE! RUN!", that I'm not surprised that fans go apeshit during free-agency, or that they do the absolute most despicable thing you can do at a game (besides pound on the glass): boo your own team. The three lowest forms of life are 3) Glass pounders. 2) Home team boo'ers. 1)Radio DJ's. 1 being the lowest. Guess where Howard Berger is?

Now I'm not absolving the average fan's behavior. It's not the media's fault for him/her being a stupid sheep with an ATM card. The fan has to take responsibility for themselves, and stop being such a gullible robot being taken advantage of by people who want them listen to their radio show, or buy their rag of a newspaper. It's just really, really hard for them to do that due to the consistency of the message beamed at them every day, all year long.

The sad thing about all of this is that the fan's dilemma comes out of a great thing: Total love for the Toronto Maple Leafs. That fact makes the people who exploit them all the worse.

GRENADE!

Lowe contract extension coming today


Much to the delight of Brian Burke, Darcy Regier, and free agents eveywhere, the Edmonton Oilers are expected to announce a contract extension for GM Kevin Lowe on Saturday.

Count me among the few in the 'thumbs up' camp. I know the majority of those in the Oiler blogosphere are against it, and mainly for two reasons - the Pronger trade and the Smyth trade. I'll have a more detailed analysis tomorrow, but suffice to say that good GM's don't make decisions with their heart. Quite simply that's the difference between irrational fans and good hockey operations executives. Besides, lets see how the Oiler lynch mob feels if the Robert Nilsson of last night can bring that for 82 games.

More tomorrow.

OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN

NORTE: Dispatch, this desk. First and foremost I have to say that I decided to write only after watching both hockey games this past Wednesday and Thursday. I needed to see some film. Remember, I didn’t watch any of the pre-season games. I wouldn’t go so far to say that I would be looking at the two games as a harbinger of things to come but…I needed to get myself acclimated. This is my team of ifs remember. (I must also mention that in the meantime I was bitten by a Spider. And I can sadly report that unless oozing copious amounts of yellow-y-ish goo out of a this is what you get in my house when you spill paint in the garage sized welt counts as a special power…that mine didn’t take. Although my right foot looks exactly like a surgical glove blown up a little.

So yes the first two games of the season…unfortunately one of the games was commentated on by Pierre Maguire. And when you expect Joe Bowen and you get Pierre Maguire that’s like expecting a set of golf clubs for Christmas and getting Chlamydia instead. I wont say I dislike Pierre Maguire, he and his exaggerated pronunciation of names and his invisible rimmed glasses, but Pierre Maguire is the ottawa senators of hockey commentating.

Now, without telling tales out of school, and I say this whilst whispering and hanging my head in shame, I am friends with senators fans. Believe me that is not easy for me to admit. I’m like the Fonz trying to say the word wrong. I will say that the only reason I can be friends with them is because of who we were before the teams inception. Because…Jesus Christ…oh my God…in strictly hockey terms, there is nothing worse on this earth than a senators fan. They’re GDCSers. Every last one of them…and I don’t care if that means your grandmother. I can say that because a senators fan would never read this blog. First of all its not in French and second of all…their captain looks like the kind of guy who was a tattle-tale when he was a kid. With that little, white face. That’s just one of the things that make me want to slap the shit out of it. Every time he scores I think how dare he? Like he is an affront to hockey. The man gets booed in his own building…wait…what was the question?

I thought it was a good move to put Raycroft in for the first game. For lots of reasons. First of all…I am uncomfortable with the notion of just handing over a number one position (which is as sexy as it sounds) to anyone. One of the perks that Toskala received when the Leafs got him was an immediate 2 year contract extension. Goaltenders are like babies. When they’re crying for something…its okay for them to suffer a bit. You can’t give in right away. Secondly Raycroft played great against the sens the opening game of last season. There was no reason he couldn’t repeat that. I thought he played alright. At times he looked good…but just like last year, I wondered why he didn’t stop the shots that were goals. I know that Raycroft, no matter how the matter is dealt with, is going to come back and bite us in the ass. This isn’t Michel Tellqvist here. He’s only 25 and could become a great goalie. My problem with Raycroft is that he seems a little laizez faire. He’s a really laid back guy and perhaps that sense of urgency is what I miss in his goaltending. Regardless…Paul Maurice had nothing to lose. If the sens came out, Heatley all spazzed out listening to heavy metal on his brand new 45 million dollar Ipod and destroyed us…then you haven’t shaken your new baby goaltender number 1. It’s only the back up goalie’s confidence that’s broken. But who cares about his spirit because at 2.5 a year you don’t want him anyway.

I will say, and this gauls me to my marrow, that it was a genius move for the ottawa team to sign Heatley. He deserves every last penny they pay him. Set your game to franchise mode with him. A pure goal scorer like that. I recently saw an interview with Mike Milbury where he said if he could go back, he would sign Heatley instead of Dipietro. Even though Dipietro clearly has the makings of a great goaltender.
Quite frankly the better Raycroft plays the better it is for the Leafs as a whole. (Which isn’t as sexy as it sounds.) If he wins games, good. If he gets more confident and pushes Toskala to win, good. If Raycroft becomes a tradable commodity, good. Again with my team of ifs…if we can hold off until trade deadline and he plays well, I believe we could actually get something more in return than the 5 cents (where applicable.)

I was not as disheartened as I thought I might be. For two losses I thought there were tons to be happy about. I loved the speed I saw in Blake. It was such a nice surprise to see a Leaf win a race to the puck. Two goals from Antropov is nice to see too, the part of me that is glass is half empty hopes its just not another 12 games before we see another. Toskala looked like the real deal though. His positioning was impeccable. Even though he was a little far back in the crease for the winning goal, I blame that on man-mountain Hall Gill. I am a Grant Fuhr man, I like goalies who shut it down when they need to.
Not being able to hold the lead is troubling. As is the PP and PK. The last six minutes of game two were quite frankly nauseating….three penalties in a row like that…but 0 for 14 is an uglier stat I believe. My wife, who clearly has a thing for 5 foot 9 cuties kept saying to me, Darcy must be sick. I haven’t heard his name the whole game. And Pony? Where were they? I really think that the game on Saturday with Montreal will show the real Toronto Maple Leafs. I think the team is two good players away from making a real run but they’re a better team than last year. Although I am also on three different medications because of my spider bite. Two more salves and I’ll get the next one free.

And now because I know that Moose and Wash havent read this far. And for those of you who stay until the final credit: I present, Mike Comrie, New York Islander.

I Watched "30 Rock" Last Night!

While the Leafs are 0-2 this season for winning games, I am 1-1 for watching them. I quite excellently have an 80 HR. TIVO. When I bought it, the sales guy told me I'd be hard pressed to ever fill it up. My friend Kris, who, I guess in an effort to save time for chest shaving, bought a 30 HR. He looked upon me with envy. 80 HR's? That'll record everything! NOTHING will ever get erased! Never! Right? Wrong.

Last night, I TIVO'd the second in the home/home against the Senators. I looked at the first few minutes of it, or tried to before I realized that that involved looking at the pre-game faces of the fat, hairy Senator fans. And their husbands. Yes, that's a cheap joke, but, you know, it's true. So I turned it off to watch for later. Moose and I had an early game to play last night, and I had to get ready here, then leave early to account for traffic. We won, it was my birthday, team played well, I played well, looked forward to watching the game when I got home. Oh no I didn't.

The game, TIVO'd just hours before, was gone. Erased. Wiped from the memory like so many Moose give-aways up the middle.

But, I did see most of game one, and as I said, I was happy with the Leafs performance overall. To just not get steamrolled by the Senators is tough enough, and in three games played against them this (pre)season, the Leafs have lost by one goal each time, twice in overtime. The first line came in as promised, with Antropov looking confident for two goals. Kaberle looked average with two bad give-aways. Tucker is still AWOL but Wozniewski looked great. Although I don't know how long the pairing with Hall Gill will last.

Tommorow night is Montreal. A team that last year had a surprising amount of swagger. But you know it's just over-compensation. They're like the short guy in the bar who wears his shirt too small to show off his little muscles. The girl he's with is wearing lucite shoes and too much Victoria's Secret perfume. After he leaves, you hear screeching tires pulling out of the parking lot, and you just know it's him driving away in his '98 Mustang. The one he sprung extra for for the striping package.

Oilers Win Opener, No One Shocked but Roli!

Wow. The season is now open, please form an orderly line and take a number. If your number is 16, you're a winner! A winner of hockey games that is! Sorry, that was hardly even a complete thought much less a joke. I'm just so out of breath from jumping up and down. As there's going to be one million pages written tomorrow recapping the game, in fact there are probably a lot already since I had to watch the game tivo'd, I'm just gonna timbit review this bad boy. Naughty! Naughty! Keep in mind, as a true Oiler fan I can only really dole out criticism. I don't even want to! It's just habit!

You know what those delicately glazed cakey wonders means... TIMBITS!

1. I was starting to get pretty nervous about this Penner character already. First two periods he struck me a lot like Lupul did, which is to say hardly at all. Slow, waiting for the play to come to him, weak wide wristers. Then, I started seeing what he brings. In the third he started using that massive body for good! Or sexy evil! Heck, we cycled the puck last year almost constantly, I don't remember any Oiler ever winning one of those battles along the boards. Suddenly we got a guy who can go chase it when the puck slides aimlessly from a failed Hemmer move through the middle, or a super hard completely wide Horcoff snap shot.

2. Roli! 3 posts aside (we got 2, so like, c'mon), he was looking hot tracking pucks through traffic and when something did come at him, he generally sucked it into himself the way Greener does with a Tito's taco. That was nice to see. And he won a shootout! I didn't know he could do that! But man did he get caught cheating on the tying shot, huh? I saw that he was sneaking a peek at some answers written inside that glovehand, and at one point he unrolled a laminated sheet of answers from his mouth ala Chevy Chase in Spies Like Us.

3. So, was that an A I saw on Souray's jersey? Quite the leadership there with a minute left. One other knock on the man, I don't think anyone cares how hard you can shoot at the boards. It seems he's been reading the seventy four tome series of novels the Edmonton media has written about his "howitzer" rather than practicing his aim. That being said I was pretty disappointed with the Pits. I've wanted him on the team since his draft year and he had a lackluster, uneven game. He seemed like the rookie out there, on a night when Gilbert was shining jumping up into the crease and relative rookie Greene was knocking Thornton off the puck with ease, Pitkanen was throwing weird tentative passes to no one in particular and was slow making decisions in his end. Plus side? I think those jitters come with the new defence partners, they'll dissolve in the next couple games. That and his dump and chase plays were a delight!

4. Last criticism, power play. The first power play looked great, every one after looked like a bunch of lost boys. No. Neither Corey nor Corey. Even sadder. Even sadder than the Corey's current lives. What worried me was that they were running the exact same plays as last years terrible poo stain of a PP. Yes, keep passing to Souray, they'll never guess he's gonna shoot it. They just cycle way on the outside of the zone, no one moving into the slot or either face off circle, passing and not skating. Oh they'll collapse after the shot, but why not suck the D up to the telegraphed Souray shot, and try a cross seam pass? Half the time Souray was shooting it there wasn't even a Penner in the way! Horcoff tipped more shots than Penner did! I'm saying this once and never again, imagine if Smyth has been in front on any of those Souray shots... shawing!

5. News flash, the youngsters were great. Friggin hell! It was like the old Murphy-Gelinas-Graves youngsters just givin her out there. I think this ushers in a new era of fourth line thinking. It seems that the fourth line has long been made up of defensive minded grinders who can get out, bang, and not cost the team a goal. No longer. With the new NHL and the need to develop from within the ranks, AND the insane amount of young players stepping straight in and contributing, why not give those skill guys the fourth line. If the fourth line is gonna be a liability one way or another, I'd rather see a fast skating bunch of rooks free wheeling and making a mistake than waiting to see which tough heart on his sleeve guy trip on his own blueline.

6. You know how you're not in the pre-season anymore? There weren't any career ending injuries doled out by big dumb guys trying to make teams!

Finally, Happy Birthday to Greener! I regret that I can't make it to the big party. You're a good friend and I hope you have a great birthday! Many happy returns and here's the gayest cake I could find, you ole gay-wad you!

Kevin Lowe: "We're All Gonna Die"

Lowe Responds; Pre-Game Notes


Kevin Lowe went on Tencer's show last night and of course Brian Burke came up, here's some snippets of what he had to say:

"I suspect that through all this, all the barbs that he's throwing at us and at me, is that he's sort of insinuating that Dustin Penner isn't a very good hockey player. Time will tell. I hope that Dustin Penner is reading between the lines and is using that as motivation to shove it to you know where."

I would say the exact opposite is true. If he's such a mediocre player and someone wants to pay him $4 million, AND toss you three draft picks? Shut-up and laugh all the way to the bank. At this point he's acting like the guy who just got dumped by his girlfriend and invoking the "I didn't like her anyway," excuse.

"People need to know that he really thrives on this stuff and is a little bit of a media junkie and loves the attention. I get a lot of calls from people in the hockey business; they think that he's known for going over the top and being a bit of an egomaniac and he's just further proving that that's the case."

How lucky is Chris Pronger? He's already been replaced as Public Enemy #1 in Edmonton...by his General Manager. When do we play the Ducks?

"In the meantime he's goin' around being a bit of a blowhard. Clearly having just won the Stanley Cup I guess he figures pretty comfortable that he can go around and spend a little more time doing that."

Yeah, success will do that to a man. You should see Greener. He wins two or three faceoffs in-a-row and he comes back to the bench yappin like he's Mark Messier.

"What he's insinuating, to me anyways, is that I shouldn't do this to him because he's my friend. In other words I shouldn't try to improve the Edmonton Oilers because I'm his friend. The reality is that I have very few friends in the game. You know what life's all about you get a little bit older and you have your family and a couple of friends and then life ends."

Well, thanks very much, Kevin. I was all excited about the season opener tonight, but now I think I'm going to go spend these last fleeting moments with my loved ones before the cloak of death shrouds me in darkness.

Lowe also added: "I mean I'm already 48 years old, I don't have much time left." Clearly a wink-wink, nod-nod, towards pending RFA's Jason Spezza and Alex Ovechkin if I ever heard one.

Notes: Moreau will not play tonight. He tried to skate this morning but still too painful to push off. Forward lines shuffled a bit; expected to look as such:

Penner - Horcoff - Hemsky
Torres - Stoll - Nilsson
Sanderson - Reasoner - Brodziak
Jacques - Cogliano - Gagner

4th line is very interesting. Suspect they will get sheltered minutes against Sharks 3rd or 4th lines. I hope we don't get killed.

Washingtron Right About Everything!

Well well well... lookee here! Hey Moose! Guess who was 100% correct about an Oilers related thing? Washingtron! That's who! Somehow, in an article in which I guessed 5 different potential captains for our beloved Oil, I managed to get everything completely right in every way. I should take this time now to urge you not to re-read the related post. I think we should all bask in the glory of my accuracy rather than look too closely at any "claims" some awesome "writer" "may" have "made".

Burke on TSN, Alberta Cows Give Sour Milk

Brian Burke was on TSN yesterday giving an in depth interview with James Duthie. Question: What's that big, grey, thick-skinned animal who they say legend has it "never forgets"? Yes, that's right, it's Brian Burke. To suggest that Burke has forgiven and forgotten about losing Dustin Penner to an offer sheet given by Kevin Lowe is like saying that Penner is a little peeved about getting a 1000% raise from a little over 400 thousand bucks, to a little over 4 million.

Burke (left, from the interview), seen here frightening me, was asked about how he felt about Kevin Lowe. Said Burke, "If I had run my team into the sewer like that I wouldn't throw a grenade at the other 29 teams and my own indirectly," all this making James Duthie laugh nervously.
Taking offense at this, Burke then reached through the screen and grabbed Duthie by his tie. He yelled "Gutless puke!" in Duthie's face, at which point, Duthie puked.

Burke stormed from the studio, taking half a mo to push a young boys' ice cream cone into the lads face. Plunging into the Pacific Ocean, he emerged in Tokyo and cut a devastating swath of destruction not seen in Japan since, well, surprisingly, ever. As bursts of laser-flames erupted from his feral mouth, he could be heard screaming about how he now understood what "...that other genius" Mozart went through all those times getting F'd over by that loser Salieri.



With a mighty leap he flew over Europe and landed in England where, for good measure, he took time to kill the owners of a London pub who served him a bad kidney pie last week when his Ducks were there to play the Kings. Once again using his Burke Powers, he jumped across the Atlantic, landing in Alberta where he took the most gigantic wiz into Alberta tourist mecca Lake Louise, thereby ruining it for generations to come.

Jumping one last time, he came to rest in Anaheim, taking shelter from the harangues of NHL GM'dom on the U.S. Navy weapons test site he calls home.

HOLY MACKINAW...NORTE POSTS

Norte: Dispatch, this desk. I promised someone I would curb my sailor talk, apparently I swear a lot, so forgive me if you are reading this, but let me tell you bitches something. It's only one more sleep until the season starts.

That’s right dummies….hockey season starts tomorrow. I say hockey season cos everybody knows, the pre-season means nothing. It’s like watching fireworks on TV or brushing your teeth with your finger. Truth be told I didn’t watch any games. And quite frankly Vesa Toskala doesn’t have to win a single game in pre-season. Not one game. That’s how little the games mean. Of course alternately I don’t give a rat’s ass that the Ottawa team went 7 and 0. Or that their back up goalie went un-defeated. Their back up no less, as their number one goalie was probably too busy crashing his Ferrari or buying ugly clothes to play any of the games. And hey does anyone else wonder what convicted rapist he is going to want to paint on his mask this year? I digress. I don’t like pre-season games. You know what they’re like. They’re like playing video game hockey with your girlfriend.

This year excites me with the Leafs. My only problem is that I find when I think of my team this year, the word if comes up a lot. If we don’t lose lose the entire team to injuries. If Toskala shines as a number 1. If Mccabe regains his form. If Antropov, if Steen, if Wellwood. Shit even if Paul Maurice. I do think this is a playoff team and if bitches, if…a playoff team by March.

On another note. I have been hearing the question posed a few different times. Is Eric Lindros hall of fame material?

I would like to ring in with my opinion. Eric Lindros, for all intents and purposes should have been a Hall of Famer. Could have been too. But Eric Lindros is not hall of fame caliber. You want a far more difficult question…is Luc Robitaille? Regardless….I think that if Eric Lindros had actually become a Quebec Nordique instead of a Flyer, I believe he would be a Hall of Famer today. I really do think his career would have been different having not gotten mixed up with Bobby Clarke. Also….everybody knows that the reason Mark Messier was left off the Canadian Olympic Hockey Team in 98 was so that Lindros could step up and lead, (Messier style). And he didn’t. He would be a Hall of Famer if he'd of scored in the shootout against Hasek. Cos' we all know that Mark Messier would’ve, and then Mess would’ve basically forced Marc Crawford to put Gretzky on, and he would’ve scored.

On another note, my wife told me a story that in like 1996 Eric Lindros once spent a drunken night in a bar in cottage country trying to pick her up. The whole night he kept asking her if she knew who he was. He failed. Quite frankly a Hall of Famer would have sealed the deal. I know for a fact that if it was Peter Stastny trying to pick her up that night they would have had sex. Gretzky woulda had her bareback. That’s a Hall of Famer.

And on a sad note. Joe Bowen and Harry Neale’s last call together will be the Toronto-Detroit game. Joe Bowen could class up anything he’s so good…but he and Neale were like PB and J. Or Good Cop/Bad Cop. So…Holy Mackinaw that’s shitty news. Greg Millen is good. He's a goalie.

Surprise Moves

Smid and Stortini sent down; Oil Country erupts.


The Oilers completed their roster trimming today by sending Ladislav Smid and Zack Stortini to Springfield. Patrick Thoresen cleared waivers and was assigned as well. Meanwhile Tyler Spurgeon and Mathieu Roy were placed on IR, which gets the Oilers down to 23 active roster players.

I'll admit, I was quite surprised when Smid was sent down, but MacT stuck to his word and the players who performed the best in camp and pre-season made the team, regardless of name, age, or contract status. Tom Gilbert deserves to be on this team, and while they could have kept 8 defensemen around, young players need to play. It's better for Smid to go down and play 25 minutes a night in the AHL. The reaction I've heard from Oiler fans? Outrage. Oiler fans, who I've come to find are a pretty whiney, know-it-all lot, are using this as another reason to bitch about Kevin Lowe and the Pronger trade. Get lives people.

The Oiler roster is very much in a state of transition. We don't know if Gagner and Cogliano will stick, or Gilbert and Grebeshkov for that matter. I know this might come as a shock to some, but the Oilers can RE-CALL Smid whenever they want. Crazy.

With both Gagner and Cogs making it, the Oilers do have a log-jam down the middle. I have no idea who will play with Hemsky and Penner, but here's a guess:

Penner - Gagner - Hemsky

Torres - Stoll - Nilsson

Moreau - Horcoff - Brodziak

Sanderson - Cogliano - Reasoner

Extras: Jacques, Pouliot

Pitkanen - Staios

Souray - Greene

Tarnstrom - Gilbert

Extra: Grebeshkov

Roloson
Garon

If they're gonna make a decision on Gagner in 9 or 10 games, then why not play him on the top line? Horcoff obviously won't play 3rd line minutes, and both the kids will get looks on the PP, I imagine. Reasoner seems like the most likely to move to the wing. The more I look, the more the centers seem interchangeable on each of the lines. Who knows? See you guys Thursday night!

HSHS Season Preview: Part II

Westward Ho!



Western Conference

Another gexcellent marketing move by the NHL this week, as the Kings and Ducks kicked off their seasons in hockey-mad London. The small Ontario town packed the arena...wait, what? London, England? Brilliant, and on a Saturday no less, when every Englishman is packed into football grounds around the country. I hear Arsenal and Spurs are going to play their North London derby in Green Bay next year...on Super Bowl Sunday.

Northwest Division

1. Colorado Avalanche: I have to admit, I have no clue about this division. Every team has an obvious weakness, but I guess the Avalanche are as good as anyone. They're especially deep at forward, and have a nice mix of veterans and youth. With Sakic, Hejduk, Smyth, Wolski and Stastny, there's two quality scoring lines, and that doesn't take into account a possible return to form from Marek Svatos, or the unheralded Andrew Brunette. Additionally, you can't underestimate the benefit of having Ian Laperriere's nose horrify the living shit out of opposing defenceman.

On the blueline, they added Scott Hannan to a nice group that includes Brett Clark, John-Michael Liles and iron-man, Karlis Skrastins. The weakness of course is in goal where, like sands through the hourglass, so is Jose Theodore's contract. Fortunately for the Avs, the $6 million back-up is in the final year of his deal, which may inspire him to a save percentage of at least .880. If not, Peter Budaj will have to do.

2. Vancouver Canucks: Until last week I was vehemently opposed to the NHL's discussion about enlarging the nets. Then I heard Roberto Luongo say he would retire if they did. Seriously, what's two or three inches on each side gonna hurt? The Canucks have replaced the Dallas Stars as my 2nd most hated team, mostly because I look at the sheer assness of their roster and can't quite figure out how the Oilers lose to them. It's Luongo. Other than the Sedin twins, nobody else scores, although it's possible that Naslund and Morrison will bounce back in what is likely to be their last season in Vancouver. Mitchell, Ohlund, Salo and Bieksa make up a decent top four, but it remains to be seen if the Canucks will regret their decision not to re-sign 'All-Star', Rory Fitzpatrick.

3. Calgary Flames: One thing you know about Mike Keenan is that he likes to ride his horses. That means, Iginla, Phaneuf and Kiprusoff can expect to play a lot. With a true star at each position, the Flames have a nice core to build around, but they haven't been able to do that effectively. Langkow, Tanguay, Huselius and Conroy are decent players but none are the kind of guys you're dying to go to war with. The defence, which was once their strength now looks disturbingly like a big, slow, chip-it-off-the-glass group. Sarich? Warrener? Aucoin? Ah, the Keenan stamp is already making it's mark. Did I mention those three guys will be making a combined $10 million this season? Who is going to get the forwards the puck? What was wrong with Roman Hamrlik? And why did they let a decent, offensive-minded guy like Mark Giordano go to Russia? Just as a sidenote, I think all Calgary-Edmonton games this year should be decided by a one-on-one skating race between Matthew Lombardi and Andrew Cogliano.

4. Minnesota Wild: There's nothing exciting about the Wild. They're just so mediocre, and nothing in sports is worse than being mediocre. You either want to be very good or very bad. At least if you're very bad you have the hope of high draft picks and getting better. But when you finish between 14th and 20th every year, you get table scraps. GM Doug Risebrough was so happy with losing in the first round of the playoffs that he added just one new face of note - Eric Belanger. A good two-way player that can skate, now that doesn't sound like a Minnesota Wild player AT ALL! This years' drive for 8th will hinge on Gaborik's health and whether or not Niklas Backstrom can prove to be a #1 goalie over a full season.

5. Edmonton Oilers: The best part about writing this has been realizing that the teams in the Oilers' division don't look as good as I thought they were. The Oil could finish anywhere from 2nd to 5th in the Northwest, but with the questions on defence and the number of young players being counted on to deliver, I just can't see them finishing much higher than 4th. I hope I'm wrong. At least Oiler fans get to see some of this every night:




Pacific Division

1. San Jose Sharks: I think they'll finish ahead of the Ducks, partly because of the Ducks losses (Niedermayer/Selanne) and partly because they're a very good regular season team. Gutless, playoff chokers, but a good regular season team. Have you heard my rant about Joe Thornton? Well here it is again...the San Jose Sharks will never win a Stanley Cup as long as Joe Thornton is counted on to be their 'leader'. He's not a leader. He's a quiet, passive guy who plays the same way; always trying to slow the game down. I don't blame Boston one bit for trading the guy. Was the return awful? Absolutely. But they were right in trying to go another direction. "But Moose, he's not even their Captain", you say. You're right, it's that other church mouse, Patrick Marleau. So in order to address the gaping leadership hole, GM Doug Wilson went out and signed...Jeremy Roenick. Well done (pun very much intended).

2. Anaheim Ducks: After playing until June and losing two Hall of Famers to temporary retirement, the Ducks will be hard pressed to win the division again. That's not to say they aren't still the team to beat come playoff time. As I said before, I think at least one of Selanne or Niedermayer will be back mid-season to give this team a lift. Rookie Bobby Ryan looks set to take Dustin Penner's place in the lineup and scored in his first game in England. They still have the best player in the NHL in Chris Pronger, and the best GM who ever lived in Brian Burke. Just ask him.

3. Los Angeles Kings: I kinda like the Kings this year. I would like them even more if they could ever get any goaltending. In my opinion, Anze Kopitar was the best rookie to play in the NHL last year (suck it, Malkin!). He put up 20-41-61, while playing on a terrible team. In the off-season the Kings went out and loaded up on skill (albeit soft, Euro skill) to compliment Kopitar and their other core players, Mike Cammalleri and Alexander Frolov. The arrival of Michael Handzus and Ladislav Nagy adds some scoring punch, but probably puts the Kings over the cap in Slavic hockey hair. They'll probably have to trade Jaroslav Modry. The blueline has improved markedly with the additions of Tom Preissing and Brad Stuart. Those two will join PP kingpin Lubomir Visnovsky and Rob Blake to make up a nice top four. I predict they'll get a goalie and contend for a playoff spot.

4. Dallas Stars: I'd like to go in-depth and say a lot of interesting things about the Dallas Stars, but I really just want to use them as an excuse to see this again:




5. Phoenix Coyotes: The jig is up in the desert. Wayno's Country Club was broken-up this off-season by an owner who actually wanted to win hockey games. The gaul. That meant the hiring of a new GM who didn't play with Gretz, work as an agent for Gretz, caddie for Gretz, or appear in a Pro Stars cereal commerical with Gretz. "Riiiiight?" I mean we all like to make fun of the Islanders, but is there anybody that runs their franchise worse than these clowns? The 'Yotes first line this season will probably consist of Shane Doan, Mike York, and Steve Reinprecht. That's not good. The rest of the roster will be comprised of guys named Mike Zigomanis, Josh Gratton, Thomas Surovy (stop me anytime), Martin Hanzel, Mathias Tjarnqvist (not that Tjarnqvist)...okay, you get the picture. Their defence isn't bad, with Jovo, Morris, Boynton, Michalek, and Ballard, but the guys behind them (Tellqvist and Aebischer) don't allow for too many mistakes.

But enough with dumping on Gretz's gang, it's not like Wayne never gave the franchise anything (he was just saving this until he could return it at the proper time):



Central Division

1. Detroit Red Wings: Yawn. Once again the geriatric Red Wings have the good fortune of playing 32 games against this ragged bunch of opponents. Are you kidding me with this division? So it is, another playoff berth for the Wings and their 42 year-old grointender (trademark!) , their 45 year-old defenceman, and their grizzled band of thirty-something forwards. I can only assume they signed 38-year-old Dallas Drake to ensure that the team qualified for its AARP benefits.

2. Hamilton Tigers: Everybody talked about the 'fire-sale' that Hamilton had in the off-season, but beyond Kimmo Timonen who did they really lose? Paul Kariya and Scott Hartnell? Those aren't guys who make the difference between winning and losing a Stanley Cup. Admittedly, the trade of Tomas Vokoun could have an impact, but Chris Mason was their #1 for long stretches while Vokoun was injured, and he proved more than capable. To replace the free agent losses, they added some nice mid-level veterans like Radek Bonk, Martin Gelinas and Greg DeVries. Alexander Radulov should have a breakout year, and the defense is still one of the better units in the league with Zidlicky, Weber, Suter and Hamhuis. Don't expect them to fall too far.

3. St. Louis Blues: You could argue that no coach does more with less than Andy Murray. He'll probably need to work his magic again this year, as the Blues look to be a fringe playoff contender on paper. It appears the organization is stuck in a position somewhere between taking a run at it with veterans, and going with the youth movement. Trouble is, the prospect pool hasn't produced enough good young kids to go the youth movement route. So, adding guys like Kariya and Tkachuk to go along with Weight and Rucinsky looks like a bridge until guys like Stempniak, McClement, and Perron are ready to take over. The defence is okay, and with Brewer, Jackman and McKee eating up minutes, it should allow Erik Johnson a slow, smooth transition into the NHL game. The goaltending situation is a mish-mash of mediocre veterans (Legace), young potential (Schwarz), and cast-offs trying to regain form (Toivonen). Andy Strickland is a douchebag.

4. Chicago Blackhawks: I hear a lot of comments about how totally awesome Chicago is going to be with Kane, Toews, Skille, and Havlat. Fo shizzle, but first they're going to suck some more. Because all kids make mistakes at this level, and any team that has that many kids in the lineup is going to lose hockey games. It's just a fact. GM Dale Tallon did go out and get a few veterans, but Samsonov, Lang, and Yanic Perrault aren't exactly cut from the cloth of Mark Messier, if you get my drift. Combine that with the fact that the blueline, while very talented, is still young as well, and it adds up to another season of missing the playoffs. On another note, and I hate to sound like a Jewish mother, but I'm worried that Patrick Kane isn't eating enough. He's so skinny!

5. Columbus Blue Jackets: When former Oilers Assistant GM, Scott Howson took over in Columbus, I wonder if he knew what he was in for. But to his credit, Howson is committed to building up the organization the right way. He has a marquee goal scorer (Rick Nash) to build around, and next year he'll have over $30 million in cap space to play with after big tickets like Sergei Fedorov and Adam Foote are off the books. In the meantime, he made some nice depth pick-ups (Hejda, Peca and Novotny), drafted Jakub Voracek, and in Ken Hitchcock, he has one of the games most respected coaches. Possibly the biggest thing the Jackets have going for them is their arena, which is probably the nicest I've ever been to. It's so cozy, it just makes you wanna curl up with a blanket and some hot cocoa. It certainly helps pass the time when you're watching Duvie Westcott try and figure out which one is the defensive zone.

Playoff Predictions:

1. San Jose *
2. Detroit *
3. Colorado *
4. Anaheim
5. Nashville

6. Vancouver
7. Calgary
8. Los Angeles
* Division Champs

That's all folks!

(I reserve the right to distance myself from these predictions upon the first trade/injury of the season involving any team discussed herein)

Leafs Cut Ondrus, Williams, Harry Neale

The meaningfully meaningless pre-season is over, with the Leafs silt settling down for a record of 3-3-2. You get a sense of how precarious the season success for the Leafs really could be. When the go-to guys (Sundin, Blake, Kaberle) were in, the Leafs clicked and found success. When they weren't, and coupled with the losses of other important parts (Wellwood, Bell, Raycroft's glove hand), we looked like trouble. What this means is if the Leafs stay healthy and people produce as they should, we make the playoffs, and well at that. If they don't...oh wait, my phone's ringing

With the injury situation already chafing at the Leafs genitals, many of the guys took advantage of the opportunities given, and ran with them, most notably, Andy Wozniewski. He looked great in September, as he has at two other Leafs camps/pre seasons, and he's made the team. Chad Kilger, a guy I'm a fan of, scored 4 times and is someone I look forward to having on the ice. He can score, hit and really crank the puck. Here he is shooting a puck harder than anyone else ever, 105 MPH:


Judging by the sepia tone of the video, I think it was shot prior to the 1910/11 season. But don't mind me... all's I know is that I like the look of those Kenora Thistles, with the unstoppable O-L-D line of Donnie "Rubberboots" O'Malley, Jackson "Table Top" Lonsberry and Mortimer "King" Donnagen. The Kaiser better watch out, I tells ya!


Leafs cuts include Clemmensen, Gamache, Harrison, Ondrus, Salmelainen and Jeremy Williams who were all put on waivers. Jiri Tlusty is going to the Marlies and should have a great year of development and will make the team next season. Of these guys, I think Harrison is the most likely to be picked up, followed by Williams. I'm not saying it'll happen, but Harrison is on the wrong end of a Defensive logjam with the Leafs, and could step in and play for a team now.

~ ~ ~ ~

Sad to say that Harry Neale is leaving the Leafs broadcast booth he's shared with the best play-by-play man anywhere, Joe Bowen. The two have such great chemistry and seem to have fun working with each other. Quite unlike Neale's chemistry with his still HNIC partner Bob Cole, who allows Harry to talk every 30th whistle, or 4 times a game, whichever comes first.

Neale is joining the Sabres game call team who just lost somebody to retirement, or something I'd find out about if I cared. He lives in Buffalo anyway, so his work commute will now rarely involve a possible full body strip search. Hold on, I did say, rarely.

Greg Millen is with Bowen now. I like him, too. He knows a lot, as he's one of those goalies-turned-color men, and isn't afraid to criticize players, Leafs or otherwise. I can't stand broadcaster homers as I've written about before, and Moose and I have spend many games together spitting epithets at people like Jim "GREAT SAVE BY CLOUTIER!" Hughson, and the infuriating Boston based Andy Brickley who's biased-bile commentary and "Pahk Yah Cah and Pay a Dawla" accent make me wish my tinnitus was worse. There's nothing better than watching a well called game, and few things less fun than watching a guy call a game like he has money on the line. Money on the line and a Boston accent.

You heard it here fifth!

The Oilers have done it. They've really done it. They've signed Sam Gagner to a three year entry level contract! Can you believe that? He's the first Oiler first round pick signed in his first year since Jason Arnott in, what, 93? As most of you know (save Greener) he can play 10 games with the Oilers before they have to make a decision on his fate this year. Whether he goes back to Junior or stays with the club. But he's obviously done enough to whet the appetite of MacT, and that means the rest of the Oilers semi-faithful. Quick note, Gagner's nickname is Gons. That is boring. I think we should call him "the last name after these quotation marks is French for winning!". As in, Sam "the last name after these quotation marks is French for Winning" Gagner. Or for short, TLNATQMISFFW! "Hey! TLNATQMISFFW! Pass the puck!" See? Smooth!


Timbits! The Oilers also put Thoreson on waivers (duh) and released Anson Carter from his career ending tryout. Hey dreads, you're not good enough for the Oilers!? Whoa. Bet you wish you'd stayed with the Sedin's, huh? I bet that one year payday was worth it. What am I saying. It's like millions of dollars. Of course it was. Also, Brodziak has made the team. Yipee!

HSHS Season Preview

The Distant Third Cousin of All Previews!

Eastern Conference

This is going to be fun, because I actually have no idea what I'm going to write, or who I'm going to pick, until I write it. It's like I'm blogging LIVE! from my cerebral cortex, but with a lot fewer naked women...and spell check.

Northeast Division

1. Buffalo Sabres: I'm sad to see Thomas Vanek go. For 18 solid minutes, Vanek was the heart and soul of the Edmonton Oilers. But it's time to wipe away the tears, pick ourselves up, and move on as an organization. Sabre fans, you will LOVE this guy! Personally, I don't think the Sabres are due for the drop-off that everyone thinks. While they lost Drury and Briere, they get Tim Connolly back, and increased roles for Derek Roy and young stud Drew Stafford should help offset the departures. The defence is still solid, and Ryan Miller is one of the five best goalies in the NHL.

2. Ottawa Senators: Coming off the short summer, and with contract distractions hanging over the heads of Dany Heatley, Wade Redden, and Niko Dimitrakos, it could be tough sleding for the Sens. I wouldn't be surprised to see them slip a bit, but their depth should pull them through. Besides it's hard not to root for an organization that exudes class through leaders like Chris Neil and Daniel Alfredsson. Congratualtions to Bryan Murray on making Ray Emery the most overpaid goalie in the NHL. Or is that their back-up, Martin Gerber?

3. Toronto Maple Leafs: After writing that about Ottawa, I suddenly want to put the Leafs 2nd. See Leafs fans, you've improved already! Ironically, the Leafs look a lot like the Oilers on paper. Good goaltending, dangerous PP, but concerns about secondary scoring and defence. I think the addition of Jason Blake and another year of development from Wellwood, Steen, and Ponikarovsky, should allow them to score enough goals. The defence is still a concern. It's strange how hard I try to like, no, accept the Leafs for Greener's sake. Fuck, I'm a really good friend.

4. Montreal Canadiens: Didn't really do a lot to improve themselves in the off-season despite missing the playoffs. They do have some nice young pieces (Higgins, Latendresse), a mobile, puck moving defence, and are embarrassingly rich in goal with Huet, Halak and future star, Carey Price. Michael Ryder should have a big year on the verge of UFA status, but they need career-type years from some of their aging core (Koivu, Kovalev) to make the playoffs. Kovalev can do some sick things, but I have to say, he stole a lot of these from me:



5. Boston Bruins: When it comes to goaltending, Boston is kinda like Los Angeles. It's where goalies go to die. Who was the last good Bruins goalie? Reggie Lemelin? Gilles Gilbert? Enter Manny Fernandez, who probably won't have to make too many saves playing behind a stout top six that includes Andrew Alberts, Denis Wideman, Mark Stuart and Andrew Ference. Sadly, his arrival probably spells the end to my favorite part of any Boston Bruins telecast, when Andy Brickley, with his ridiculous 'chowdery' accent, raves about the goaltending of Tim Tuaawmus. That's Tim Thomas to those of you in the other 12 colonies. Lottery pick!


Atlantic Division

1. Pittsburgh Penguins: Even while losing to Ottawa in the playoffs, you could see the lightbulb come on for this team. Young guys like Staal and Crosby really competed like veterans - they get it. I really like the subtle off-season moves the made. Re-signing Gary Roberts and adding Sydor on the back-end were nice moves to compliment the young guns. Petr Sykora is a pure shooter who could score 40+ playing with Crosby. Hopefully Penguins fans can taste some success before Kevin Lowe comes calling with the Evgeni Malkin offer sheet.

2. New York Rangers: The Rangers are everyones sexy pick this year, and can't you just see why? In all seriousness, Henrik Lundqvist is tired of being treated like a piece of meat. He wants to be judged as a goaltender. I'm talking to you, John Davidson.

The Rangers are trying to build a winner the way the Rangers always try to build a winner - with money. Scott Gomez, who had as many points as Shawn Horcoff, will make $10 million this year. The Oilers used their 65% off coupon and have Horcoff for $3.6 million. That being said, they look loaded up front. The blueline corps lacks a true top pairing guy, but they can move the puck and are fairly capable as a group. They're well coached, have "a rock star" in goal, and they're hungry from last years playoff success.

3. New Jersey Devils: Another popular pick to take a slide this year, and who wouldn't mind seeing Lou Lamoriello get bounced early? Despite losing Brian Rafalski and Scott Gomez to free agency, this year Lamoriello has used a little known loophole in the CBA to have their goals still count for New Jersey.

The Devils still have a lot of veterans who know how to win (Elias, Langenbrunner, Madden) and some very good young players (Parise, Gionta, Zajac). The blueline still needs to be re-tooled by there is enough there to put them in the mix for a playoff spot. Of course they still have the ageless Martin Brodeur in goal, backed-up by the aptly named Kevin Weekes.

4. Philadelphia Flyers: They were very active in the off-season, and they'll be better, but how much? Hartnell and Upshall are nice complimentary players, but Briere has to show he can be the guy, and the same goes for Martin Biron in goal. Besides Kimmo Timonen and the underrated Lasse Kukkonen, their defence is aging and contributes little in the way of offence or puck moving ability. Can't wait to see how Joffrey Lupul is received in a hard-as-nails town like Philly. Being named after a ballet always makes a good first impression.

5. New York Islanders: Ladies and gentlemen...YOUR New York Islanders!!! Either GM Garth Snow is standing on some phone books, or Charles Wang demands that all his new players be at eye-level when speaking to him.

I don't want to hear another word about players not wanting to play in Edmonton as long as the Islanders are in the league. Which of the Isles big off-season signings gets you excited? Ruslan Fedotenko? Andy Sutton? How about Bill 'Final Payday' Guerin? Or maybe professional panhandler, Mike Comrie? Yeah, Mr. Hillary Duff has conned another franchise into paying him millions of dollars for a season of apathetic play, healthy scratchings, and educational lectures on his cro-magnon jawed relatives. It's okay Hillary, Ted Nolan has the exact same reaction when he thinks about that spoiled, rich kid being his first line center.

But it's not all bad news on Long Island. Rick DiPietro has turned into a true #1 goalie, and the human hand grenade, Marc-Andre Bergeron, is sure to keep things exciting when Nassau Coliseum patrons start to nod off at the site of Jon Sim on the power play.


Southeast Division

1. Florida Panthers: My sleepers for this year and my pick in a wide open division. They've quietly assembled a very nice young core, led by Olli Jokinen, Nathan Horton and Jay Bouwmeester. They are a little thin up front, so they'll need a full season from injury prone Stephen Weiss, and contributions from veterans Radek Dvorak, Jozef Stumpel and Ville Peltonen. Aside from Bouwmeester, the defence features the vastly under-appreciated Mike Van Ryn, and solid, stay-at-homers Ruslan Salei and Bryan Allen. In goal, the acquisition of Tomas Vokoun was one of the best, and least talked about, deals of the summer. He should help undo some of the damage done to the franchise by whatever idiot traded Roberto Luongo. Now, who was that? Oh yeah...enjoy, Calgary!

2. Tampa Bay Lightning: You have to think this is the last hurrah for the 'Big 3' in Tampa. GM Jay Feaster resisted the temptation to break up the three-headed financial albatross, and is giving them another chance to win a Cup together. Unfortunately, that decision has again left the Lightning with little or no depth at various positions, especially defence and in goal.

To compund matters, their best defenceman, Dan Boyle, suffered a freak injury in the locker room, when his skate fell off the shelf and severed three tendons in his wrist. Apparently, Boyle was too immersed in his copy of Sports Illustrated - featuring pictures of Vinny Lecavalier and his girlfriend - to notice the falling, razor-like object about to end his career. Luckily, he should only be out 4-6 weeks.

If they get adequate goaltending, they're a playoff team. Just how far they can go will be determined by whether Feaster can add some depth later in the season to take the burden off his big guns.

3. Carolina Hurricanes: Largely unchanged from the team that won the Stanley Cup two years ago, the Hurricanes are getting older and their defence is just plain shitty on paper. Now that Cam Ward has been unmasked as the overrated, flash-in-the-pan that intelligent hockey observers (Greener & I) knew he was, I'm betting this team has another tough time making the playoffs. Still, playing in a weak division may allow them to rack-up enough points to squeak in, providing that drunk Eric Staal can stay out of jail long enough. I'm kidding! Sort of...

4. Washington Capitals: They haven't come close to making the playoffs since Ovechkin arrived, and you have to think George McPee's job is on the line. Luckily help is on the way in the form of Michael Nylander's wife. Her husband should prove to be a productive partner for Ovechkin now that he doesn't have to worry about her bitching and moaning about where to find good Ligonberries in Edmonton.

There's actually reason for a little bit of optimism in D.C. where Rookie of the Year favorite, Niklas Backstrom, will be counted on to make an immediate impact along with up-and-comer Alexander Semin. The defence has some decent veterans in Brian Pothier and Ben Clymer, but it's time for first round picks Steve Eminger, Mike Green and Shaone Morrisonn to step up or risk having unnecessary consonants stripped from their name.

Overall, it doesn't seem like the Capitals have much of a plan as an organization, and signing Viktor Kozlov and Tom Poti isn't exactly a statement of intent.

5. Atlanta Thrashers: Without a doubt the worst GM in hockey: Don Waddell. The moves he made at the end of last year sacrificed the teams' future and depth for mediocre assets that were never going to make them Cup contenders. What the hell has Keith Tkachuk ever done to be considered a leader or impact player? I'll give you a second...nothing. File him under 'Roenick' for loser.

Their complete playoff capitualtion at the hands of the Rangers showed just how far they have to go. Somehow you get the feeling this franchise will find a way to ruin Kari Lehtonen, lose Marian Hossa to free agency, and yet Waddell will still keep his job. Even with two elite scorers like Kovalchuk and Hossa, they should still battle Phoenix in the Steve Stamkos Derby.

Playoff Predictions:

1- Pittsburgh *

2- Buffalo *

3- Florida *

4- NY Rangers

5- Ottawa

6- Toronto

7- Tampa Bay

8- New Jersey

* Division Champs

Western Conference up next!

The lesser known sequel to Doctor Who?

Captain Who?

In addition to the question of which of the 30 players in this dressing room are actually going to be on the team, one other burning question remains as the regular season starts and it isn't "Will Mathieu Roy ever walk again?" Rather, Who is going to take over for Jason "Once more up the boards, dear friends" Smith as the Oilers captain. There have been rumors of rotating C's, of a solid C but rotating A's, and a strong possibility of just giving everyone HJ's. Let's have a look at the merits and... demerits(?) of each potential successor to that hallowed throne. Well, as hallowed as a throne can be after the handoff from MacT to Kelly "Sloth from Goonies" Buchberger....

1. Ethan Moreau - "Chopper" is the current leading contender. The fact that half the team followed him to his brother's training facilities for the entire summer certainly indicates that he is a) extremely fit and b) already a leader of sorts. Take a look at how many teeth he's missing and you'll realize he's either willing to lay it out for the team or just really bad at avoiding solid objects travelling mouthward. Also, a number of Oilers players have indicated that the loss of Monsieur Moreau was a much bigger blow to the team than most figured. According to Dwayne Roloson (that's the first player name I've used without a nickname in there, pats on the back), he's the heart and soul of the team. In fact, our #1 netminder has publicly backed him for the C, which puts the coaching staff in a bit of a tough spot since Roli's old enough to be their father. The main downfall of Moreau's bid? There are a few, first, he isn't making the money that some of the other candidates are and as I've said before, in this league money is talking more and more. Second, he seems to be suffering from that Samuel L Jackson disease in Unbreakable. I'd add here that he doesn't seem to be much of a "personality" guy but to be honest I don't know that for sure and also, Gator was about as interesting as the LA v Anaheim season opener in London.

Shawn Horcoff - This little fella is getting paid the big bucks, has earned tons of respect from MacT for earning a 1st line center spot through sheer hard work alone (it certainly wasn't talent) and for developing the way MacT likes, through the ole defensive forward route. He had a bad season last year but who didn't? He's a vocal guy and is good with the media. He seems like someone who has a lot of internal struggles as a player which I think is as a result of his throwing away his initial playing style, becoming a strong defensive player, and then being asked to be a first line points contributer. Basically he's schizo. The knocks against him as I see it? First, he looks like Tweeg from Teddy Ruxpin. Second, he's a really inconsistent player, which makes it much tougher to set a consistent lead. At least Jason Smith was a steady bad 90% of the time. Thirdsies, the team may look at him as MacT's boy a little bit.

Jarret Stoll - He's young and skilled to the max. Don't let the fact that he's not so great in NHL 08 fool ya, he was the Oilers best all around player last year prior to being go-tarded in his brains. He's the prototype of the new look Oiler, remember before when "Speed Kills" was the team motto? Yeah, well look where we got with Marchant and Chimera as the poster boys. With Stoll you get a young, solid two way forward who can actually put the puck in the net and who thinks the game perfectly. MacT is always on his players about thinking the game, and it seems to have gotten through to young Stolly. The knocks against him? His age is the number one reason he won't be picked. I like him for getting an A, because it shows the young players what they can earn if they work hard enough, but he's not getting a C over Horc or Moreau or other Oiler lifers. Not yet anywho. Also, he looks sorta like a vampire.

Ales Hemsky - Oh c'mon. I think people who say he should get the C to spur him into a leadership type role are the same people who have a baby to save a marriage. And nine times out of ten THAT idea is just about having unprotected sex before you break up. So basically, go ahead, give him the C if you want to have unprotected sex with Hemmer so bad. Wait. I think I've lost the thread here. The point being, he's not a leader, we all know he's not a leader. Don't weigh him down with a letter, it'll just hinder his passing. People have to realize that "Leader" and "Points Leader" are NOT the same thing. Though they can be. If you're Mark Messier.

Finally, Steve Staios - A fine candidate I suppose. He certainly gives it his all, he even has flashes of offensive prowess. Remember those two goals he scored that one time? Okay, me neither, but his stats say he's done it, so there's that. Again, not a personality guy with the media, but MacT is enough personality in interviews for everyone. He's been around a long time, and was even a Captain already in Atlanta. Admittedly, he was a captain who has been picked off waivers, unprotected in an expansion draft, and then either left unsigned by the team he was captaining or felt that his leadership had done enough in Atlanta, abandoning his teammates for more money. I don't feel Staios is a representative of the current Oilers. He's a solid defenceman who makes a little too much dough in my estimation, but he's not the face of the Oil.

Oh, and I almost forgot, Ryan Smyth - A darkhorse candidate considering he's no longer with the team, he still qualifies as the team captain leftover from last year.

So that's it I think, cast your ballots via the comments section below. Personally, I'd like to add Roli to the mix just because he's had more conversations with the refs than their wives have and because he's always on the ice, so what an advantage! To me, I go Moreau for Captain, with Stoll and Horc getting the A's, though I'm pretty sure Staios will get Stoll's. Boo.

Wash

Rypien Hit

Thanks again to 'sexy randal' for the video. I'll tell you why I disagree with your comments in the prior thread.

First, it was a charging penalty. That was the call on the ice. It would have been a charging penalty regardless of whether Roy was injured. The idiot was skating a hundred miles an hour from his own blueline.

Second, every NHL player knows that when there is a 50-50 play and a guy has his back to you, you can't put him through the boards. But since Rypien isn't an NHL player he doesn't actually know this...my bad. Even Rypien himself (and the announcers on the video) said he should have pulled up. Was Roy his own worst enemy on the play? Yeah. But is it his fault? No.

Once again it comes down to respect. There's a difference between making a solid hit to separate a guy from the puck - which is the purpose of checking, lest we forget - and trying to murder someone. These are hits to hurt, and invariably it's always perpetrated by some young 'energy' guy, who has been in the league for 8 seconds and doesn't understand the respect factor.

I'm curious to know what other people think.

Oil 4, Vancouver 5 - Are you kidding me?

"My name is Rick Rypien, and I'm a douchebag."


Either Rick Rypien has been living in a cave (he does make the league minimum), or Colin Campbell didn't quite send the message he thought he did. Once again another fringe player (see 'bad') sends someone off on a stretcher. This time it was Oiler defenceman Mathieu Roy. I haven't seen the hit yet, and by all accounts it wasn't as bad as Downie's, but from what Tencer, Morley and Rod said, Rypien skated from his own blueline and buried Roy in a vulnerable position in the Oiler zone. As Tencer said, there was "just as much stupidity," in this hit. Rypien received a 5-minute major. I'm sure he'll have plenty of time to contemplate his NHL suspension while he's riding a bus in AHL.

Herein lies the problem with incidents like these. Are the Flyers ever going to call up Steve Downie knowing he can't play? When the Canucks need an injury call-up, why would Rypien get the call when he's carrying a suspension? In addition to suspensions, the NHL needs to hit these guys where it matters - in their wallets. Fine these morons wherever they play. Ridiculous - as if I needed another reason to hate the Canucks.

Alain Vigneault said it shouldn't have been a penalty. Okay fuckface, remember those words when someone puts one of your little Swedish girls head-first through the advertising. Even Rypien admitted it was a penalty. Shut your mouth and pray your goalie doesn't tear his groin, because your team is shit. Oh...is this thing on? Alright, anyway...

Is this what the pre-season is going to become? Are coaches going to be scared to play their established players for fear of some two-bit clown taking their head off?

From a hockey perspective, suddenly having 9 NHL defencemen on the roster isn't quite the burden it was 24 hours ago. Roy has had a history of concussions, and is certainly touch-and-go to start the season. MacT said he'll probably go on IR, meaning the other 8 guys will probably stick.

Other thoughts:

- Gagner and Cogliano were both very good again tonight, and I'm sure the focus now switches to trying to get Gagner signed before opening night.

- Oilers sent Jeff Deslauriers (G) down tonight, with other cuts coming later in the week. No comment on Anson Carter, which means MacT hasn't had time to tell him to pack his shit.

Downie Gets 20. Bettman: "We Can Do That?!"

POS Steve Downie is drinking his career through a straw tonight, after the league- and by that I mean Colin Campbell- handed him what is effectively a ticket to the fourth line of the Philadelphia Phantoms by way of a 20 game suspension. The only way this could be any better for civilization is if the suspension was for 1000 games, and that it had to be carried out on Mimas, one of the moons of Saturn.

Reaction was mixed around the league tonight, ranging from "Hooray!!" to "Phew!!". Campbell, desperately trying to prove that the only thing he's done in life is play hockey, said, "Downie crossed the line, and he crossed the line in a whole-heartedly way." thereby hitting the English language as bad as Downie's hit on McAmmond. Even Flyers GM Paul Holmgren knew the term of the suspension was warranted when he said, "We respect his (Campbell's) position and his judgement in this case." and, "We will live with it." Say, Stevie boy, that's not exactly a ringing endorsement from your boss, is it?

That's all fine and good when the guilty player is a fourth line rookie/nobody like Steve Downie. But what about when if the player is a superstar, someone the league doesn't want to get rid of, like Chris "Where the Elbow Meets the Skull" Pronger? Will the league be as hard handed in meting out it's punishment then? Let's see...looking into the future...yeah...yeah, it's coming clearer... No. The answer is no. The league is trying to send a message to undeserving, expendable players, and they just hope that guys like Pronger hold off as long as they can before they decapitate a guy, forcing the league to make, OH GOD! A decision!

To get a little extra perspective on this, please send the kids from the room and cast your eyes on this horror show from 6 months ago:

Suspension for that, 3 motherfucking games. Cam Janssen, a guy whose career NHL stats are these:

DEVILS 95 / 1 / 0 / 1 / -5 / 205

I was going to put in a longer version of the hit from the Devils game coverage featuring the usually excellent Doc Emerick and the clearly retarded Chico Resch, but it was getting me too pissed off. Resch is such a typical broadcast homer, and in the clip he tries to say that the reason Kaberle is leaving the ice ON A STRETCHER is because after the hit, his head hit the boards. That's like saying that the reason the person died in the car crash is because they went through the windshield, not because they were hit head on by the drunk driver.

So the wait is on before the next Blow to the Head/Game Brawl/Howls of Outrage/Colin Campbell Press Conference. Let's remember all that's been said in the past few days, and see how it compares then. In other words, see you next week!

SEXY STRETCHER UPDATE:

I had to wait one day. See above.