Thursday, August 16

Fuck You, Howard Berger

I just read another worthless article written by the wretched Howard Berger. A mustachioed load with a pinched face and surely a Molson Canadian golf shirt that he got in a SWAG bag at celebrity pro-am in Thunder Bay 8 years ago. The fact that he's spent 19 years in radio is testament to how shitty a writer he is. I have worked in radio- it is the gutter.

In my summer hockey famine I just desperately want to read fresh posts about hockey and The Leafs, so I end up reading things like Howard Berger. It's like living at the dump; you're not getting any real food, so you eat garbage. In the article, Berger claims that he "laughed his tail off" while reading an article another pile wrote, this one Allan Maki at the Globe and Mail, mocking Leafs fan reaction about an informal Leaf skate at our practice arena, Lakeshore Lions. Apparently - and this is the funny part- people in Toronto love hockey and the Leafs so much that we get excited when hockey season approaches, and we renew our love for our team! Hilarious! What a laugh-riot! Stop, my sides!

First of all, Howard, you wrote an article about another article where you ended up quoting just about the whole goddamn thing. Good "work" dude. Boy are you dedicated! Secondly, just a note of explanation for you and your bro Maki, what the two of you winners mocked right there, that's called PASSION. PASSION is a great thing to have with anything, and an amazing thing to have with sports, you stupid McDouche.
He then goes on to write a sigh heavy bit about how it's the same-ole'-same-ole' with The Leafs in the run-up to the new season. Obviously Howard is out of touch with the concept of passion as he goes on to say,

"'s the same routine every year. The early-birds are swarmed by notebooks, cameras and microphones -- mouthing platitudes about the team and how the coming season will be special. Tucker routinely mentions how he likes the make-up of the group in the dressing room; Nik Antropov ponders a season devoid of injury; ditto for Carlo Colaiacovo. Any additions to the team (Jason Blake this summer) talk for a third time of how excited they are to join a franchise with such a storied history -- repeating what they said the night they were acquired..."

Jesus, Howard, we're so sorry, are we keeping you from something? Passion is clearly what Howard has lost for this game and this team long ago. He's so far past giving a shit, he can barely hide it's absence. What's worse, he actually stoops and mocks people who've never lost the thrill that our team gives to us, win or lose, year after year. Incidentally, all the things mentioned by those above Leafs are the same things mentioned by 29 non Stanley Cup winning teams in August. As well as non Pennant/Super Bowl/World Cup/Formula 1/Iditarod/Survivor squad. That's called the way the game is played. Why is that such a problem for him?

I don't know, maybe I'm thinking too emotionally about this. Maybe I should sympathize with Howard. All he gets to do is spend time watching, talking to, and traveling with some of the greatest athletes in the world playing for one of the most storied teams on Earth. That's tough. Poor guy. But seriously, fuck you.

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