Tuesday, September 4

Pisani Sick. Mrs. Souray Sure to Demand Trade

The Oils' Fernando Pisani announced on Tuesday that he is sick with a condition known as ulcerative colitis. As if the Oilers year could get worse, now their troubles come under the clause for Acts of God. It's like if there was a mudslide that swept away Rexall Place and they had to forfeit a game. It's ridiculous.
At least though, Oiler fans, you don't have it as bad as Fernando. Colitis is rough. I had a best friend one time who had Crohns Disease, Colitis' lesser cousin, and it rocked the fuck out of him. Before going into hospital to have 3 feet of his intestines removed, he got so thin that I could put him thumb and middle finger around his biceps. It was insane.

It even changed his personality. A few weeks after he was released from hospital, I met up with him at a restaurant to have lunch. He showed up wearing his baggy blue hospital pyjama pants, long blue hospital robe, a t-shirt with hammer and sickle with "CCCP" written on, and a bunch of gold chains. Oh, wait, and a red bandanna around his head. And sunglasses. I mean, I liked 12 Monkeys as much as the next guy, but this was a bit much.
We walked around after we ate and as we stood behind some people at a cross-walk, he would pretend to punch them in the back of the head. It was horrible, he had flipped his lid. Crohns flipped his lid.

I'm not intending at all to make light of Pisani's illness. He's a good guy, player and teammate, and I really hope he gets better. All the shit with my friend was a long time ago, so maybe they're way better at treating all that. Actually, I bet they are. Let's write the team or the hospital or just wish good things for Fernando and his family. Whatever your thing is like that, try and do it.