Saturday, February 2

Leafs 4, Senators 2. Bob Cole's Night Ruined

There is something people should know about a mostly Toronto based Canadian media: Because people in Canada can at times feel like they are broken down into two camps, ie: Those who live in the GTA and everyone else, the media go out out of their way to show that they aren't Toronto biased. Way out of their way. Like driving from Winnipeg to Regina via Sao Paulo, Brazil.

Case in point is HNIC and Bob Cole. Bob is a broadcast legend, has made some great game calls and all that, bla bla bla. But with all due respect, Bob Cole is so beyond his "best by" date, he's like that black and blue fruit you find in the back of your fridge that you can't tell if it was once an apple or an orange.
Before the Center Ice Package was around, I hadn't watched HNIC in years after moving to the States. The first game I watched was on a Saturday Night, and to tell you the truth, I was shocked at what had happened to Bob Cole. I didn't even recognize him. He didn't sound anything like he had just a few years before. Uh, and it hasn't gotten any better. Bob really needs a strong booth partner, and ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you that Gary "I live in Ottawa and work for the team" Galley is not one of them.

Bob works hard to praise the Senators whenever he can, and he can A LOT. Will someone please tell him that the Senators pinned along the boards for a minute in the Leafs zone without a shot is not "Tremendous pressure!" It just isn't. And for Christ's sake, Ray Emery was not, at any time, "Looking great so far!". Right now the only place Ray Emery would "look great so far", is so far from a hockey dressing room. Jason Blake doesn't have cancer as bad as the Ottawa Senators have with this lunatic. He's petulant, aggressive and churlish, and his teammates hate him. And in tonight's game he looked ter-ri-ble! I have no idea why Paul Maurice didn't order his bench to just go hard to the net and absolutely shell this guy with shots...especially on the powerplay. But, you know, the Leafs like to get cute and throw it all over the place, which a very good Senator PK quickly just dump out of the zone.

How great did Robbie Earl look? First NHL game, first point, and the kid stayed on his game from start to finish. He had a great college career, and I've heard a lot of positives about him ever since. He played a terrific checking game with Boyd Devereaux, whom I love, and Dom Moore. Stajan looked good in all situations, and his forecheck steal on Blake's goal was honored by Blake's smooth study in Ray Emery jock-removal.

I really wanted Mats to get 1600 at home on a Saturday, but he was not really served well by Jiri Tlusty. Tlusty just does not look to be strong enough yet to fully contribute in the NHL. By rights he should be working out at Ricoh every day with the Marlies and killing them down there. His main job in the off-season has to be just to get big. His body has to catch up to his hands and his brain.

One last thing. In the pre-game show tonight, with some of those troops at center ice. Whose idea was it for them to be fucking standing on the Leafs logo?! What the hell is that? Am I just crazy? OK, wait, wrong question. Am I just crazy to think that? Well I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. And another thing...what's with kids these days with their crazy music and weird haircuts? And why do all the girls wear pants? Don't they know that's not ladylike? And movies were better in black and white! And radio was better than TV because you had to use your imaginations!

Crazy Like A (Silver) Fox

It was called tabulae defixiones by the Romans, katadesmoi by the Greeks. The Celts had their Curse Stones as well as Egg and New Years Curses. Both of which involve the turning of luck. In the Bible it’s God himself who utters these words (to the serpent), “You are cursed more than all cattle.” There’s The Curse of the Bambino, The Mummy’s Curse, the Kennedy curse and the Superman curse. The Evil Eye, The Monkey’s Paw, Pandora’s Box, Santeria and the Voodoo that you do (so well.) Some think that unexplained natural phenomena such as the Bermuda Triangle are cursed locales. The 27 Club is the curse of the rock glitterati: Janis, Jimi, Jim, Brian, Pigpen, Kurt. There’s the Curse of the Pharaohs. Pharaoh Tutankhamen himself had a curse for anyone who dared violate the precincts of his tombs. The first born son in every family that violated his tombs would get gonorrhea. And have flat feet.

Even in my own family…it is said that my father’s two sons have both been cursed with enormous genitalia.

This shit isn’t folklore people, it’s the real skinny. I’m talking about 1967. 19 fucking 67. Without giving away too much of the plot. I wasn’t even born yet. In fact my parents had yet to meet.


Let’s try and put this in perspective. The Doors and Pink Floyd both released debut albums that year. The Beatles released Sgt Peppers. Che Guevara was executed that year. General Anastasio Somoza Debayle became president of Nicaragua that year and Moise Tshombe, former prime minister of the Democratic Republic of the Congo was kidnapped in Algeria.
Still need perspective? 1967: Kurt Cobain was born that year, and as a member of the cursed 27 Club we know that he died at age 27….and that was 14 years ago. When you carry the 1….that’s 41 years ago.

Do right by us Cliff.
Fletcher met with Sundin Wednesday to discuss the matter, but would not divulge any details about their conversation.
“That’s something private,” said Fletcher.

It should have been joined by a knowing smile, a wink, hell at this point I’d take the ol’ pretend to punch you in the face, aw shucks routine. Something that indicates to me that the old silver fox actually might make good here.
Since this speculation has been going on since…I would say the Carolina game in December that they (coincidently) also lost in overtime 3 – 2. The game where Poni didn’t score into the empty net. Yeah, that game. (A game that I think cursed the already cursed Leafs.)
Our future is in your able, grandfatherly hands.