Wednesday, October 31

a (home game) + b (lose by 6) = c (bag skate)

Paul Maurice bag skated The Leafs on Wednesday and if you don't know what it means to get bag skated, then clearly your boss has never tried to kill you. Reading a post about bag skating is as close as fatso's like you and me will ever get to having our lungs pulled out through our thighs in a freezer by a guy named Paul.

Coming off their latest ACC points-punt, The Leafs were punished the worst way known. No, not by having Washingtron show you and your girlfriend how well developed his quads are, but by repetitve, body-killing skating drills. There's a scene of it in the semi-true/everyone in it but the lead is Canadian movie, "Miracle". When Kurt Russell skates the players over and over saying "Again". That's what The Leafs did today, but with turns. And less plaid jackets.

Does bag skating work? Don't know. It could be seen as a team builder, like "Look what we went through! Wow, we made it! We're warriors!". It might be used as a preventative, like, "Hey let's actually try to win this game that we are playing instead of fucking around in front of our fans who've suffered enough, because if we don't, we might get bag skated!"

Here is some footage shot of the what The Leafs went through today at Ricoh Coliseum:

Tragically, right after this was filmed, Ivan Drago appeared and killed Rick Ley.