Sunday, February 17

I Guess Darcy's Now Worth a Seventh Round Pick?

Claude Julien took time out Saturday night from ruining the game of hockey to watch Darcy "What Chronic Knee Injury?" Tucker take the Toronto Maple Leafs on his back and win the hockey game they were playing against his Bruins.

The Leafs looked to be on the bottom end of another 'lose by one goal' game by doing what they usually do: Come out not ready to play, have Toskala get the shit shelled out of him in the first period, and try and to break (their own) world record for the most passes thrown around the perimeter on a powerplay without a shot. When a team's best line is always it's checking line, that highlights some pretty dramatic problems.

I'm not sure if, like me, you weren't thrilled with hope for a win when in the pre-game show they showed Kyle Wellwood getting dressed, goofily grinning. I'm sorry, but that's not exactly the warrior's scowl I would have wanted to see from a guy freshly sprung from the press box and being a dozen Coffee Crisp's away from career immolation. Let's just say that Kyle isn't exactly Gary Roberts. At this rate Kyle is barely Tanya Roberts.

Kyle, seen here at left contemplating rainbows, was reinstated as an actual forward on the Leafs for a night. While he won a few face-offs with that kick-spin move of his, and got 12 minutes of ice time, he was mostly invisible save for an assist on the bee-u-tee Antropov goal, which was 75% Darcy's doing anyway.

As for Darcy, thank you, thank you, thank you, to George Cross of the Toronto Sun and asshole "un-named GM" who awakened the beast in Tucker, sending him to his best game all year. It may be four months too late, but still.
The GM, who I pray to Christ was Boston's Peter Chiarelli, said that Tucker was "done" and that he wouldn't even trade a seventh round pick for Darc. Hey, guess what, motivational speaker Tony Robbins, you don't challenge a real warrior like Tucker like that and not expect him to respond! 3 points of inspired play including the sexually arousing game winner in over time. Again, 4 months a little late, but still. That is why we're lucky to have Darcy, and every team in the league knows it.

For those of us who are wanting the Leafs to lose as part of the Stampede for Stamkos, don't worry too much in the win (it seems insane even to say that), as the Kings won on Saturday, calling it about even. 49% chance, here we come!