The Kids Are Alright

Great minds do indeed think alike (and cheer for the Oilers). Washingtron's piece about recycled headlines forced me to dust off a post that I quashed back in pre-season. I know authors at newspapers don't write their own headlines, but what does that really say? If you're a headline writer, all you do is write headlines! C'mon, man. Three words: mail, it, in. How many times do you reckon the crack staff at the Edmonton Sun has dusted off this old gem: "ALES IN WONDERLAND?"

Remember those old disks of 'clip art' you used to buy for desktop publishing purposes? Well, I've come to the conclusion that the writers at the Edmonton Sun and Edmonton Journal have a stock file of headlines that they pluck from depending on the game story.

"Hey who got the game winner for the Oil tonight? Stortini?" Easy...ZACK ATTACK!

What's that? Pitkanen had three points? JONI ON THE SPOT!

What a job that must be. Just pick a player of focus and there's some not-so-clever play on words that these guys can come up with in a matter of seconds.

Dick Tarnstrom pots the winner...TRICKY DICK! Although a headline writing connoisseur would save that for a Tarnstrom hat-trick. Waste not.

Dustin Penner scores in overtime? PENNER FROM HEAVEN!

Sam Gagner scores in the shootout...PLAY IT AGAIN SAM...I mean any moron can come up with that one.

Kyle Brodziak continues his three game scoring streak: HOT BRODZ!

Andrew Cogliano is named first star of the game? VITAL COG

Denis Grebeshkov has his usual stellar game...GREBESH-COUGHS IT UP!

Personally, I'm a little disappointed there hasn't been an opportunity to unveil what is sure to be a headline mainstay: HIP HIP SOURAY!

So there you have it readers, that's all I got. Now it's your turn, we want your best (and by best I mean worst) Oiler or Leafs headlines. Greener has already given me the exceptionally trad, FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS (Mark Bell). Tell you what, I'm offering an autographed Washingtron head-shot for the best Alexei Ponikarovsky or Carlo Colaiacovo headline. Saucy.

For what it's worth, tomorrow night will be Ethan "Chopper" Moreau's return to the lineup after missing 113 consecutive games. Take this one to the bank for the morning edition: CHOPPING AT THE BIT!

EDIT (6:36PM): About 45 minutes after I finished this post, I decided to log on to the Oilers website to see if I could get some audio clips about tomorrow's game against Minneso...OH MY GOD!