Thursday, February 28


Back when I was in high school a lot of movies were suddenly released that all had the same premise. Wherein the soul of Character A somehow gets swapped with the soul of Character B. Wackiness would then ensue, we’d all learn a lesson, and the movie would end. It was a premise first introduced in "Freaky Friday" in the 70’s (and perfected, in my opinion, not by Big but by the 1984 Steve Martin vehicle, "All of Me". Also staring Lily Tomlin (amazingly, believable as a straight woman). Regardless it had Steve Martin in it and Steve Martin, like Bill Murray, is always good. Steve Martin should win the Nobel Prize for awesomeness and if there isn’t such an award there should be, but let me tell you this, if there was such an award, it would be a landslide. Here’s to Steve Martin in honor of his excellent excellence in the pursuit of excellence, through excellence.

There was "18 Again" which had that creepy guy in it…oh yeah George Burns, who at the time honestly resembled a chimpanzee – I mean is that even alright to say? I dunno…but he did. He looked like a smoking 200 year old chimpanzee. That one I believe also had a running sub-plot to it. I think I remember watching that movie high on acid or maybe just wishing I was.

There was, "Like Father, Like Son" with Kirk Cameron, pardon me, TV hunk Kirk Cameron. I believe it was some kind of potion that changes them in this one. Regardless…Kirk Cameron wears a lot of button down shirts tucked into high wasted jeans with pleats and Reeboks in the movie. If I remember correctly, he’s much harried and drives a Jag as well. I think he also had a perm. What I know for sure was that he had a mullet. I promise you it was 1 Flavor of the Month, 2 haircuts.
The movie also starred Dudley Moore. He made it right around the time he couldn’t look Peter Cook in the eyes anymore.

There was also "Vice Versa". Where non-threatening, moppet Fred Savage turns into his father, Judge Reinhold, via, natch, a mysterious Oriental skull (duh). He becomes his dad and his dad becomes him…vice versa…we get it. It’s funny for the whole family, which means it’s not funny. To me this movie is the exact opposite of Goodfellas.
There was also some Alan Smithee shit with those horrible Corey’s that’s so terrible that I can’t even be bothered to make up some jokes about it.

I actually heard two Leafs fans be-moan the way we’re playing right now. Bitching that Toskala is playing all the games, and using words like finally and bullshit and no trade blah blah blah Tucker, godamn Raycroft my ass. It was disgraceful...they called themselves fans and they werer bitching about playing well. What? Huh?.
We Leafs fans are learning very valuable lessons right now. At a time when we’re happy that Wade Belak leaves but un-happy that Mats doesn’t. Where do we stand?

It’s disgraceful how Toronto media calls the dressing room a country club. This is not a country club…if it were…these games would be over in the first period.
I recently watched The Last Time They Played on Leafs TV. It was that game against Florida. One of the real low points of the season for sure. I had the audacity to watch it again…can you fucking believe that guy? Anyway I watched it and that team compared to yesterdays team...well you all know how schizo they can be.
I tell you this...Mats screaming off the bench with a minute left to tie the game? That’s not a Godamn country club....that's a Captain.

I don’t even want to begin to imagine the possibilities. More like I wont allow myself to consider them. Instead I just want to let it progress naturally. Does the thought of losing Steven “We Stand on Guard for Thee” Stamkos in the draft make me want to reach for the pharmaceuticals? Of course it does. But I wonder where the honor is in tanking - I think I would rather watch our boys try to fucking fight their way up the standings with honor then lose on purpose.