Lazarus

I'm back and I have a lot to say.

The last time I posted I think Jason Blake still had cancer! Crazy. Nevertheless, I'm back to restore a little credibility to He Score, He Shoot. You know, the kind of journalism you just can't get from a Youtube video of someone vomiting into a toilet. Just pretend you've been in a Thorazine-induced coma for a month and this will be a great read!

I'll start with the non-Oiler items:

Mats-urbation

A while back, Greener asked me to post a little something about Mats Sundin. I assume it's because every time HE starts to write about Mats his hands gravitate away from the keyboard towards the lotion and tissue. So here is my belated tribute/congrats to Sundin on passing Darryl Sittler as the Leafs all-time leading scorer.

Sundin is a hard guy not to like, and, if he ever got traded, I would root for him. When he first arrived in Toronto he had to endure a lot of shit from the fans and the media. He was accused of being soft because he wore a visor and wasn't from Kelvington, Saskatchewan. Plus, when God created the Maple Leafs he did so under the condition that the Leafs never have a European as Captain of 'Canada's Team' (Cherry 3:16). It was especially tough following in the footsteps of Wendel Clark and Doug Gilmour, great leaders who both led the Leafs to the Stanleyjackshit.

Sundin has gone about his business, conducted himself with class, played hurt, put up numbers, and has come out the other side with deserved respect. He's a future Hall of Famer, the first Euro to be drafted 1st overall, a PPG player for his career, and do you know what player not named Gretzky or Lemieux has the NHL's longest consecutive point scoring streak? That's right, Jaroslav Pouzar...okay, it's actually Sundin (30 games) but do you know what player once scored 42 goals in 43 games for Motor Ceske Budejovice? Damn right you do.

Many years ago, I was watching a Leafs game with a friend, and Sundin scored a goal. I remember his huge smile, and making a remark about how happy-go-lucky he is when he or his team scores. He just has this look on his face that says, "Hey boys! We're playing hockey for a living!" He still has that look today and I love that about him. That will always be my lasting memory of Mats Sundin. Geez, I almost went for the lotion there myself...

Chicken Salad

Pierre Maguire is a chicken shit. Apart from just being insane, he's another in a long line of media members who won't criticize anyone for fear of "losing access". After the firing of Bob Hartley, I was watching a Thrashers game and Maguire went out of his way to acquit GM Don Waddell of any guilt in murdering Atlanta's depth chart. According to The Monster, blame lies with ownership. Yes, because I'm sure the faceless media conglomerate that owns the Thrashers told Waddell to gut his already mediocre prospect pool to get playoff warriors like Keith Tkachuk and Alexei Zhitnik.

To the Oilers...

Fight Club

Shouldn't the first rule be "Learn how to fucking fight?". I'm officially against fighting in the NHL. Not for any moral reasons or concern for the games' image, but because the Oilers suck at it. First Moreau, and then Souray pops his shoulder out in a skirmish. That's roughly 100 games lost to two pretty important players. MacT can go on about being 'team tough,' but when you have an enforcer your other players don't have to do that shit. Remember the furor over Derek Boogaard's Fight Camp for kids? Maybe Kevin Lowe can get an intra-division discount and send the Oilers there next Summer. At least this way when Boogaard destroys Ales Hemsky again, we can write it off as an educational experience.

Random...

- Matt Greene was playing the best hockey of his career before he went all 'Slim Jim' on his ankle. He was one of the few sources of physical play in the lineup, which makes his loss that much tougher.

- I was anxious to see how the Oilers were going to play in Colorado on Wednesday coming off the impassioned meeting MacT held with his players in practice. I was sensing the possibility that this team might be ready to quit on him, but they answered the bell and played a strong, high energy game. That being said, they blew a third period lead and only got one point. It's easy to muster up the effort immediately after a coach challenges you, but can they sustain it? Tonight against Calgary, a team that has also lost four straight, should be a good test.

- Denis Grebeshkov had another howler against Colorado on Wednesday night. Apparently it's still Dick Tarnstrom's fault. I expect Grebs to play his usual 34 minutes tonight.

- The lack of true finishers on this team was very apparent in Colorado. The Oilers had tons of good chances to make it 4-2, but couldn't finish and ultimately got caught at 3-3.

- Ryan Smyth is a world-class cheater. The guy commits a stick infraction every single shift and rarely gets caught.

- Who's gonna shoot wide on a breakaway tonight? By my count we're at 4 for the year (Hemmer 3, Torres 1).

I guarantee a win against Calgary. If not, I promise never to post again.