Saturday, February 9

Flames 4, Oil 1: Rant

After losing to a mediocre hockey team like the Calgary Flames, I would like to come on here and rail the Oilers, but I can't. Yes, the Oilers got away from their simple, physical, pucks-to-the-net style that got them two straight wins, including a 5-0 bitch slapping of Cowtown earlier this week. But, the Flames got two fluke goals, and aside from a few sloppy breakouts and too few shots, the Oilers played an okay game. Kiprusoff only faced 15 shots, and was decidedly average (again). Of those 15 shots, 2 went through him and had to be cleared off the goal line, and he's still looking for Robert Nilsson's goal after being deked into Row Q.

I've not been one to live and die with results this year. The Oilers are what they are: a work in progress. But tonight got under my skin because I can't stomach watching the Calgary Flames unless their crisp bodies are being pulled from a burning wreckage. In particular:

Dion Phaneuf: Are you kidding me with this guy? This is Calgary's idea of a $6.5 million franchise defenseman? Clueless in his own zone, chases guys 80 feet to make a hit, and a quite frankly, a half-man. Let me tell what a fucking leader does. In the game on Monday, Ethan Moreau put his elbow under Phanuef's chin and knocked him to the ice. When Frankenberry got up for more, Moreau fed him four right hands. What does Phaneuf do? He gets up and complains to the refs. So Moreau, being the supreme captain that he is, says after the game that he felt bad that Phaneuf didn't get a chance to get his gloves off quicker and square up, and says he'll give him another chance on Saturday. Mind you, this is the same Ethan Moreau that has been told not to fight by his coach, because of his surgically repaired shoulder. So tonight, Moreau calmy offers Phaneuf a return tilt. Apparently, Phaneuf's strategy this time was to head-butt Moreau's fist until 'Chopper' literally deposited him into his own goal. Dion, next time you want to eat that much knuckle you may just want to opt for an intravenous tube or something. But hey, keep frosting those tips, buddy. Lookin' good!

Matthew Lombardi: You got rag-dolled by Ladislav Smid!

Mark Smith: I'm sorry, you are? Elbows to the back of guys heads, and the old "hold me back routine," huh? Really? You're so shit, you wish you were Jarkko Ruutu.

Robyn "free hand" Regehr: I'm so tired of watching this gutless fucking Cro-Magnon try and drive Ales Hemsky's head through the boards and get off with 2 minutes or less. I hope one day Regehr has to be carried off on a stretcher after being on the receiving end of one those cheap shit hits he likes to dole out. His act is so far over the line it's disgusting. When does enough become enough? When Hemsky is carried off on a stretcher?

Have you ever seen Regehr go into the corner first to get a loose puck? Of course not, he wouldn't know what to do with it if he got it. Hemsky, who gives up 4-inches and 40-pounds, is always first into a corner because he's fucking fearless. Funny how Regehr got so tough after Laraque left town, isn't it? On the RARE occasion when he fights, who does he dance with? Middleweight Zack Stortini, and lover Dustin Penner. What a hero. Have you ever seen Regehr engage an opposing forward without putting his hand on him first? I'll answer you haven't. He has to grab because anybody with speed makes him look like a steaming pile of dog shit. Hey pylon, meet Ferrari.

My apology for the external Youtube link. Apparently the poster is VERY protective and didn't want it embedded!