TGIDD!

Yes, thank God it's draft day. The day we've all been waiting for for such a long, long time. Remember the "Slide for Stamkos"? That was this day! Crazy, I know.
This is also the day when we get to listen to 6,000 tubs of shit in Jorts boo our team and G.M. when they get announced. While Fletcher is up on the podium, watch him carefully as he speaks through clenched teeth thanking Ottawa and the Senators for their hospitality. That'll be language a civilized person uses instead of saying "Thanks for finally turning down the Judas Priest at around 2:30 am, you inbred creeps!"
Along those same lines, Windsor Spitfire center Josh Bailey is now on suicide watch because he's just heard that TSN held their mock draft and Pierre McGuire had Ottawa take him at the number 18 pick.
McGuire, a marble-mouthed New Jerseyan whose made an unbelievable career for himself by yelling everything, has hypnotized every broadcast radio and television outlet in North America into believing that "VOLUME" is the same as "TALENT". I tried to endure watching him on TSN while he sat and yelled his script at James Duthie who sat two feet away from him. He tried to say that Bailey is a two-way Cory Stillman type with play making abilities. Jesus, you've got to feel for Bailey, being linked on TV to that team. Poor kid.

Someone whose dancing with the stars though is a strapping young Dane by the name of Mikkel Boedker. The TSN draft had the Leafs chose Boedker at #7. Personally I think he's great, but I would want the Leafs to get someone a little more dynamic. But, he's a top 10 pick in a super deep draft so, very good, the Leafs get him. This will certainly happen unless the Kings go way off the board as they did last year, which would push everyone down a spot. That would probably mean the Leafs take Luke Schenn... and, oh, I just got hard. Then again, imagine if Filatov gets passed on and the Leafs take him? Oh! I'm now even harder. Then again, imagine a fun birthday dinner at The Keg?

So let's see what Kliff and the Gang will do in Ottawa. I know a little of what they'll be going through as I have to spend the draft in L.A.'s version of Ottawa: the seat on the couch next to Moose. You've got to feel for me. Poor kid.

It's About F****** Time!

Glenn Anderson = Hall of Famer


The white smoke finally billowed out from the rooftop of the Hockey Hall of Fame today. Glenn Anderson got his rightful place in hockey's shrine, and it's been a long overdue honor for one of the all-time great playoff performers. The fact that it took this long is a black eye for the media. Anderson never had a great relationship with reporters, and, as we all know, one of the requirements to get into the Hall of Fame is kissing-up to a bunch of notebook toting fat-asses. Other qualifications:

1) No pre-marital sex.
2) Support the troops.
3) A carbon footprint of 2.5 tonnes or less.
4) Shalt not covet thy neighbour's ox.

Anderson played for a few other insignificant teams that nobody remembers, but will always be remembered as an integral part of the Oilers 5-time Cup winning dynasty. He was fearless, skilled, and at his best when it was all on the line. Congrats!

The Real NHL On Versus

The other day Moose and I were having a discussion about hockey. No big surprise there, as it's what we most often do. After talking about the Final, the NHL awards and upcoming draft day scenarios, naturally, talk turned to who the hottest goalie in the NHL is. Wow! The conversation sure got animated! I never knew Moose and I had so many interests in common!

So my first candidate for hottest NHL goalie was Roy Worters. I mean, right? All Roy ever did was win the Vezina trophy for the 30/31 season. After he retired, the New York Americans never had it so good...looking.




To counter my first nominee, Moose put forth Gump Worsley. The Gumper! Gumper, who my Dad says was the best goalie he ever saw play, can be seen here doing what he did best: getting better looking by taking a slapshot puck in the face. Suck on that, Bobby Hull!


Next on our great debate list was Leaf fan favorite, and nominee numero deux of mine, Turk Broda! Here's Turk, looking awesome as men do in a Leaf sweater making a save and being great. You may laugh at any number of things in this picture, but you know when you had balls this big? Never.


Then Moose mentioned someone under the radar: One Mr. Bill Durnan. Durnan, seen here maybe a little out of position and openly screaming about it, won about 80 Vezinas all the while clearly wearing boxing gloves instead of a catching mit and blocker.


So the debate between Moose and I raged on for what seemed like seconds. It was then and only then that we realized that (a) these men aren't actually in the NHL anymore, and, in fact, had all been dead for decades. That (b) neither of us is a gay dude who spends his time judging men for their looks, and (c) if we were, then the men we'd be judging for their looks probably wouldn't be ex-NHL goalies who've been dead for decades. It made sense to us. I guess.

What we would do is take a leisurely inter-blog leap over to Wrap Around Curl or I Mean, We Got Guys... and vote in their "Hottie Hockey Dreamy Team: Hotties In The Pipes" competition. And while I sit here not believing that I actually just wrote that last phrase, you can cast your vote on who you believe to be the best looking NHL goalie around. While you're there, have a look around and read some good articles. Because before these women decided to turn their attention to the shallow pursuits of questioning which NHL goalie has the best face, they took time to write about what really matters to female hockey fans: which NHL goalie has the tightest buns.

"...and free Boston Pizza for a year."

Draft Day Scenarios


With the 2008 NHL Draft less than a week away, it's time to put the GM hats on again. Trade up? Trade down? Stick to the rebuild, or give it one more run with Sundin? Here are four Draft Day scenarios for you to mull over. Some are more realistic than others, and some will have your wringing your hands. What would you do?



SCENARIO #1: Dean Lombardi emerged from talks with L.A. Kings ownership last week with a new direction - get even younger. So, he fired coach Marc Crawford and headed into the draft with 14 picks (including 8 in the first 3 rounds), looking to re-stock the organization with quality prospects. With some nice young players up front, L.A. is looking to add a couple blue chip defence prospects to go along with Jack Johnson. Having already selected Drew Doughty with the #2 overall pick, the Kings want the #7 pick to snag one of Alex Pietrangelo or Tyler Myers.

The Offer:

To Los Angeles: Toronto's #1 pick (#7 overall)

To Toronto: Alexander Frolov, Dallas' #1 pick (#28 overall), L.A.'s #2 pick (#32 overall) and Calgary's #2 pick (#47 overall)

Pro/Con: For moving down 21 spots, the Leafs get an affordable 30 goal scorer who is signed for 2 more years, and is just 26 years old. They also add a couple high picks in the 2nd round to help replenish the cupboard. It's a quantity over quality deal, as the Leafs would lose out on a possible first pairing defenceman. Worth the price? It depends on your projection for Tyler Myers. Is he the next Chara, or just a more skilled version of Hal Gill?


SCENARIO #2: The Edmonton Oilers are without a 2nd and 3rd round pick after the Dustin Penner offer sheet. With a bundle of NHL calibre forwards on the roster, the Oilers are looking to move bodies and add some picks. The phone rings at the Leafs draft table just before the start of the 2nd round.

The Offer:

To Edmonton: Pittsburgh's #2 pick (#59 overall) and Toronto's #3 pick (#67 overall).

To Toronto: Rob Schremp

Pro/Con: A YouTube legend, Schremp has always been a wild card. Drafted #25 overall in 2004, and led the OHL in scoring in 2005-06. He has as much skill as anybody, but needs work on his skating and strength. After two years honing his game in the AHL, and a dedicated off-season training program, he appears ready to make the jump. Trouble is, the Oilers are deep up front and have a lot of youth already. The Leafs would be giving up two picks in a strong draft year, but would they get someone with Schremp's potential at #59 or #67? He's a boom or bust proposition, but might be worth the mild risk for a rebuilding team.


SCENARIO #3: The Leafs have already selected Tyler Myers at #7 and amazingly, Nikita Filatov has slipped to #9. With Nashville on the clock, you sense a chance to hit a home run and grab the skilled Russian, who some say is the 2nd best player in the draft. With the cost-conscious Predators also owning the #15 pick, and some good youth already in the system, Nashville is willing to talk trade. But what's the price?

To Nashville: Toronto's #1 pick in 2009.

To Toronto: Florida's #1 pick (#9 overall).

Pro/Con: There's just one question. How good do you think the Leafs will be this year? The Leafs are getting a top 10 pick in a strong year, with the intention of selecting a dynamic, front-line winger. But, are you giving up the chance at selecting John Tavares, Victor Hedman, or Jared Cowen next year? If the Leafs aren't a lottery team, do you make that deal? With the expected bounce you get in the first year of a new coach, you have to think the Leafs will be picking outside the top 10 next year.


SCENARIO #4: The Atlanta Thrashers have one of the weakest prospect pools in the NHL and have made the decision to cut salary and start from scratch. With the #3 and #29 overall picks, they will get two good players, but they want to add some established NHL youth and even more prospect depth. After selecting Zach Bogosian with the #3 pick, they come calling for the #7 overall pick.

The Offer:

To Atlanta: Toronto's #1 pick (#7 overall), Toronto's #1 pick in 2009, Alex Steen, Jiri Tlusty, and Anton Stralman.

To Toronto: Ilya Kovalchuk

Pro/Con: The Leafs get the NHL's premier goal scorer (in his prime), but have to give up their best young players and high picks to do it. Is this really the way to rebuild? That said, Kovalchuk is only 25-years-old himself, and his goals would single-handedly keep the Leafs out of the Tavares sweepstakes. How often do you get a chance to get a 60-goal scorer in his prime? Could Kovalchuk handle the heat in Toronto? Probably, as long as he could walk around in his loin cloth all day.

Let's hear your thoughts, armchair GM's.

My Sweet Angel: Falls Down, Goes Boom

Thanks to a tip from excellent He Score, He Shoot reader/bar owner/stud, Ian P., I bring you news that our sweetest little kiss in the bunch, Kyle Wellwood, has broken his foot. When reached for comment on the matter, a heartbroken Wellwood expressed sadness that "...this'll throw all my hard, off-season training way off! I mean, right around August or so, I was really gonna go hard at it!" And by that, Kyle means the buffet.

Welly told the press that he broke his foot "warming up" for a game of indoor soccer. Phew, sounds exhausting! It's no real surprise that Kyle broke a bone, because everyone knows that Kyle has the softest skin body work ethic bones around. That's because exercise helps strenghten the human body, like your bones, or your groin.
Never one to actually "work out" or "train hard" or "not take his career playing pro hockey for granted", it looks like it'll be just another summer in cottage cheese country for snookums.

Kyle, seen here as an abomination to everything Gary Roberts stands for, obviously hasn't read, say, this blog, or your blog, or even any sky writing anywhere in Southern Ontario. For you see, there's a new Sherriff in town. His name is Ron "Wellwood Will Look Great in Panthers Uniform" Wilson. This here bench boss will soon tire of watching Tubby McWhiteskin there get plumb tuckered out during a game. I mean gee-willikers Pa, doesn't the play die with you every time you touch the puck? Me neither.

I've written about Kyle many times before, and according to Windsorian of the Year Ian P., the opposite of unwell. Have a look at what I wrote on January 28th. Read that, and then look again at the picture above. Those are 5 months apart. I mean Jesus Christ, I'm not asking that Kyle to turn into Dolph Lundgren between then and now, but seriously, when you're an NHL'er, the only thing getting bigger on you between seasons shouldn't be your jowls. Sometimes I hate to be right.

Not all is lost for Kyle though. The Leafs just released the new TML 07/08 season commemorative figurines! Yes! Awesome! Who's going to be the first on their block to bring home a Kyle Wellwood?:



Not like what you see? Would you rather be unimpressed when listening? Then perhaps your next move should be to listen to our latest podcast. Rad, this is just like chess!

The Natural

"Bryan Fogarty could skate faster, shoot harder and pass crisper drunk than the rest of us could sober."
- Mats Sundin

The death of Luc Bourdon got me thinking about one of my favorite hockey players - Bryan Fogarty. With today (June 11th) being his birthday it seemed like a perfect time to recollect. I'm sure some of you know the story by now. For those of you who don't, I urge you to read this fantastic collection of stories and quotes about him. Hell, even if you know the story, you should read it. They are, all at once, jaw-dropping, sad, and amazing (like the Sundin quote above).

This isn't intended to be a depressing martyr piece, rather an appreciation for a rare talent. So here's a quick synopsis:

Wayne Gretzky was born in Brantford, Ontario - home of Bryan Fogarty.

You see where I'm going here? Fogarty was drafted 9th overall by the Quebec Nordiques, with their first of two #1 picks in the 1987 draft. Six picks later they took Joe Sakic.

In his final year in the OHL, Fogarty destroyed Bobby Orr's junior scoring records for a defenceman, (47-108-155) and was named CHL Player of the Year. The following year, he was in the NHL and his problems with alcohol and a social anxiety disorder began to surface. Within three years, the NHL career of a "can't miss" talent was coming to an end. After being traded to Pittsburgh in 1992, Fogarty's off ice troubles with alcohol continued. His pure skill and potential meant there was always a team willing to take a chance on him. But after the 1994-95 season, he would be out of the NHL permanently. Between 1992 and 2001 he bounced around the fringe leagues of the world with stops in (get ready): Cleveland, Atlanta (IHL), Las Vegas, Kansas City, Montreal (NHL), Minnesota (IHL), Detroit (IHL), Davos, Milan, Hannover, Indianapolis, Baton Rouge, St. John's, Knoxville, Huntsville, and Elmira.

I still remember the last time I saw Bryan Fogarty play. It was New Years' Eve, 1993. One of the regional sports networks here in Los Angeles was showing Las Vegas Thunder games, because the Thunder had signed a big, 17-year-old Czech kid, who was being touted as the #1 overall pick in the draft...Radek Bonk. As intriguing as that was, I was watching to see Bryan Fogarty. I remember telling my friends that we couldn't leave to go out drinking (ahem, ironic) until after the game was over.

In the first period, Fogarty carried the puck deep into the attacking zone, drew two defenders to him, and fed a perfect pass to the slot, where a wide-open Bonk scored. The announcers and fans praised the 17-year-old "whiz kid," as I shook my head...in appreciation of Bryan Fogarty. The vision and skill never left him. It made my night.

Fogarty continued to play hockey for another 7 years, but less than a year after leaving the game, he was gone. While on vacation with a friend, Fogarty was found dead in his hotel room after a night of drinking. The official cause of death was an enlarged heart.

His hockey career and the nature of his death serve as a reminder. With all the great memories these players give us, and the heroic status we heap upon them, we sometimes forget that they are just ordinary men, albeit with extraordinary talent. I feel priveleged to have seen Bryan Fogarty play hockey. He was a special player - and that's how I'll remember him.

Sex, Drugs, and Shiving: HS/HS Radio Returns!

There's a popular opinion in musical circles that a bands third album is most likely to be its masterpiece. The theory being: A debut usually features songs the musicians have been crafting for years and thus, are fantastic. The follow-up usually suffers because it's rushed, and put together to cash in on the new found success; the sophomore slump. Then, it's make or break time.

So when HS/HS went into the studio to lay down "Podcast #3", we were mindful of the pressure. Could we still bring it? Another "OK Computer" or "London Calling"? Or would it go all "Van Halen III" on us?

The reviews are beginning to leak out, and just look what the critics are saying:

"30 minutes you'll never get back."
- Rolling Stone

"Eh"
- Spin

"Not a total waste of $8 in monthly hosting fees."
- Q Magazine

Such was the magnitude of the event, that CNBC stopped by for sneak peak at our studio sessions. Here's a screencap:

Just click on the post title above, or HERE. We hope everyone enjoys!

The Day After The Day After

Dynasty On Hold...Or Is It?
(dun, dun, dun!)


On paper, it seemed like a dream match-up. Unfortunately, Stanley Cup Finals aren't played on paper. Except the 1993 Final, which Toronto won because "Potvin had better stats." Right? I mean, why wait for the podcast?

As predicted, the Penguins weren't quite ready to have their names etched alongside Gretz, Mess, Coffey and Kurri. Let's be honest, it wasn't even close. The Red Wings outplayed them in every single game, and were a couple of bounces away from possibly sweeping. Normally I'd be the first to say that the future is bright for the Penguins, and things like "you have to lose before you can win." But in the cap era, I'm not so sure that old adage holds true. I still feel the Penguins young players will be better for this experience. The question is, where will some of them be putting those lessons into practice? Will the Penguins be able to keep this team together to build on the success from their run to the Finals? The Montreal Canadiens of the 70's and Oilers of the 80's never had to deal with the restrictions of a cap, or rival GM's nipping at the heels of their RFA's.

We knew Crosby was the real deal, and Malkin had a good playoff run as well, but the true bright spot of the playoffs was the emergence of Marc-Andre Fleury as an upper echelon goalie. He had a rough regular season, which prompted the organization to ponder trading for a veteran goalie. Hell, he lost his job to Ty Conklin! I don't like Ty Conklin. You know how the Leafs blogosphere feels about me? That's how I feel about Ty Conklin. No particular reason. I just don't like him.



Okay, one VERY particular reason. "Oh my goodness?" I know Bob Cole is losing it, but I fail to see any "goodness" in that play. Maybe I'm misinterpreting that. Anyway, Fleury came through...big-time. In Crosby, Malkin, and Fleury, you have a core trio that should enable the Pens to be perennial contenders. The challenge will be to surround them with a capable supporting cast, and that challenge will start almost immediately.

First off, they're most likely going to lose Hossa. Say what you want, but the guy answered a lot of questions about his ability to perform in the playoffs. He scored a lot of big, timely goals, and probably earned himself an $8 million contract. Maybe the key with him was not having to be THE guy. In that sense, Pittsburgh is the perfect place for him. It'll be interesting to see where he goes.

Fleury is an RFA, and they'll lock him up long term. But at what price? Between $4-5 million? His price will determine if they can afford Ryan Malone and Brooks Orpik. With Malkin and Staal due for new deals next year, it's likely they can only afford one of Malone/Orpik, and both guys have played themselves into the $4 million bracket. Being thinner on the blueline, do they opt for Orpik? Would Pittsburgh-born Malone take a hometown discount?

They have a bunch of key character guys heading for UFA status: Roberts, Hall, Ruutu, Laraque and Dupuis. Of those, Dupuis is probably the guy they'll look to keep, as he was very effective playing with Crosby.

So what's the point of this exercise? Well, you're going to find that teams that win the Cup, are going to be teams that have players outperforming their cap number. You can only afford so many $6 or $7 million guys. You have to get meaningful contributions from your second tier. Which brings us to the Detroit Red Wings. The Stanley Cup champions will go into the off-season with a paltry $39 million committed for next year. They'll have only two guys that you'd call 'key', headed for free-agency: Filppula (RFA) and Stuart (UFA).
They have another year of Zetterberg at a ridiculous $2.9 million, Franzen at $1.1 million, and Kronwall locked up for 4 more years at $3 million. THOSE are examples of outperforming your contract. They'll need to add a defenceman or two, and find a replacement for Hasek, but Jimmy Howard is ready to step-up from the minors at a fraction of the cost. Given that, who's to say the Red Wings won't be players for a high-end UFA defenceman like Redden, Campbell or Streit? Scary thought. Maybe all that talk of a 'Dynasty' was centered on the wrong team.

I'm Just Saying...

Is there anything more ridiculous than an AHL call-up getting his gear on in the locker room and coming out for a skate with the Cup? Maybe I'm sounding like a crusty old man here, but if I lifted the Cup and skated around the ice searching for applause, I'd at least like to feel I contributed to the journey. I mean any asshole and his brother can go to the Hall of Fame and cop some queer kissing-the-cup pose. No offense to queers. Jimmy Howard? I said you were ready to be an NHL back-up, not put your mitts all over Jacques Plante's name. And really, Mark Hartigan? Repeat offender:


Lastly, a word about Ron Wilson. He says he's thinking it over. Uh huh, sure he is. If I know Ron Wilson's ego, he's probably milking this because he didn't want to tell the Leafs "yes" on the same day Detroit won the Cup. The greatest coach hockey has ever seen couldn't stand to be the 2nd biggest hockey story...on a Wednesday...in June. If you ask me, he's already overpaid.

Podcast = Monday!

Wings In 6. Everybody Wins The Pool

The Red Wings won their 4th Cup in 11 years on Wednesday night. Going into the final, the Red Wing players had 23 Cup wins between them. Seeing as how he's just won his 405th Cup, one entire band of it is now just for Scotty Bowman.

This was the game that Detroit almost played back home when they had a chance to win it there. Coaches, pay attention: It has been conclusively proven possible that a team can run a crippling, choking defense, and not be the most boring thing on Earth. It's called talented players. The Wings defense, led by Lidstrom and Rafalski, through to two-way guys Kris Draper and Zetterberg, absolutely dominated play in the last half of the game. The Pens only had 22 shots on net, and only 6 in the third, and I'd say half of those game in the last minute of the game. This with 6 powerplays, including a long 5 on 3. That's in the Stanley Cup final, against the second best team in the league who were playing at home with everything to lose. How good is the Wings D? When your goalie has a playoff 1.55 GAA and a .930 save percentage, including back-to-back shutouts in the Final and doesn't get the Conn Smythe? You've got some good goddamn D.

Turning points? Well, how about the 5 on 3 to start? The Pens have to score there and don't. How about Osgood's best save of the playoffs, when he murders the inventor of the banana smoothie- Gary Roberts -by getting the paddle down in time? How about the bad rebound Fleury gives up on a soft wrist shot from Samuelsson for Filppula to chip through? How about the graphics on that Xbox 360?

I've now seen the worst, or maybe weirdest- I can't decide- goal ever. It just so happened to be the game winning goal in the 2007-08 Stanley Cup Final. This is what it looked like:

This Is A Dead Puck

This Puck Is Now Moving At 60 MPH

4th Cup In 11 Years

I've never seen anyone's ass take a slapshot before. That puck wasn't rolling or sliding. It was flat and still. Fleury's ass comes down on it, and it FLIES into the net. Literally. I think his ass roofed it. That is a tough way to lose a game, let alone the Stanley Cup.

It was also a pretty emotionless trophy presentation. Normally I get REALLY choked up when the Cup gets presented. This time I only wept. Quietly. It's not just that the winners were in the away building. The Pens fans all stayed for the ceremony, but just seemed stunned that it was all over. And it was so silent. It didn't seem like there were any Wings fans present at all. Maybe if Zetterberg had snapped the Conn Smythe trophy in half that would have broken the assembled crowd out of their anaphylactic shock. But, you know, no such luck.

One thing the NHL is not doing now is having the PA announcer introduce Gary "Sunbelt" Bettman. This ALWAYS elicits a chorus of wonderfully hateful boo's in every rink he's in. Our Commish just scurried out there and trilled out his rehearsed dialog, proving once and for all that those voice lessons are really working.
He gave the Conn Smythe the Zetterberg who skated around with it and then took it into a crowd of Wings, which I thought was odd. I would have thought they'd be only thinking of the Cup. Maybe Hank is just real popular in H Town. No matter. Lidstrom gets the Cup and does a tour with it. The NBC team pose the question of "who will he first hand it off to?". Ah yes, the great tradition. Who does the winning captain hand the greatest trophy in sports to first? My mind flashed: Joe Sakic handing it to Ray Bourque. Gretzky handing it Steve Smith, you guys, handing it to me. Then the big moment...Lidstrom approaches the Wings throng...he's doing it...he hands it to...Dallas Drake? Oooooooo-K. No, I get it. He did that thing, one time. And he gave someone a lift to the bus stop during that snowstorm in '97. Of course. Now it all makes sense.

Seeing the Wings win, and how, makes me think a lot about the Leafs. The difference between these two teams and the way they are run is frightening to admit. The Leafs have a possibility to change that, even a little, starting probably Monday with the announcement of new coach Wilson. Then some good trading/drafting and signing by Cliff Fletcher. Then the hiring of GM Brian Burke. Yes, I'm back on that again. I'm a very hopeful person. I think it can happen. But so much has to change for the Leafs to get to a place to really compete for the Cup. And when I say that, I mean win the Cup. Because as I watch yet another non Leaf team do it again, seriously, NOTHING else matters.

Wilson To Be Named Leafs Coach. First Round Success Here We Come!

...Not any second round success, mind you. But after three seasons of NO rounds of success, I think we should take what we can get. The Leafs could do a lot better than Ron Wilson in the coach department, but they could do a lot worse...like, say, anyone that Richard Peddie thinks is good. I wonder if Peddie has brought up hiring his son-in-law yet? It seems like exactly the type of thing he'd do. Here is a memo from my desk I'm going to pass up the line to the folks at MLSE:

Please keep in mind that the Leafs have been my life my entire life, and I only care about them winning the Stanley Cup. But I'm not a rich, arrogant 50-something businessman whose dream it is to one day live in a house made of money. So, what the fuck do I know?

Ron Wilson. I'm not a fan of his per se, as I've mentioned, he was only able to get some strong Sharks teams to heroically underproduce in the playoffs after good regular seasons. What I do like about him is his aura of strength. I've written before about how the Leafs benefit most when led by a passionate, charismatic coach. I don't doubt that Wilson has those qualities. With the daily trial by fire that goes with playing in Toronto, we need a group of men who are steeled by that, not withered by it. Wilson is someone who can push some of that heat out onto the ice where it belongs. At the very least, he'll always get a rise out the Leafs. Can you see Darcy get challenged and go to war for Wilson? Definitely. Can you see him hate Wilson's guts, and play hard in spite of him? Yes again.

Myself, I like what Alec Brownscome had to say on that website. He's elected Craig Hartsburg. Alec points out that Hartsburg is a coach with a great eye for young talent, and paired with the right assistants (his suggestions: Dale Hunter and Doug Gilmour), he'd be able to inspire and motivate a Leaf squad clearly needing to go with a youth movement. It's a whole side of the possible coaching coin that deserves a thought or two. I'd link you to Alec's article directly, but it'd mean sending you over to, you know, that site. Personally, I'd much rather send you here or here or here or here or here or here or here or here or here or here.

Oh yes, one more thing: The Red Wings were 30 seconds away from winning the Stanley Cup last night when the Penguins scored after Brian Rafalski failed to clear the puck out of the zone. Look at your watch, feel how long 30 seconds is, and think about just how short an amount of time that is.

SPECIAL, I KNEW I'D F IT UP SOMEHOW UPDATE: HERE!

Too Young

Luc Bourdon

1987-2008

Osgood Lets In Goal. Kristen Bell's Vag Not Amused

Two things of note this morning:

1. That the Penguins played a great game, and, as I predicted a mere post ago, won game three at Mellon against the Red Wings.
And...

2. That the title above is the first time I've mentioned vagina's on this blog. Can you believe my restraint? It's not that difficult really, as my other blog is called "YOU, ME, AND VAGINA MAKES 3" It's a non-judgmental users guide to a woman's most secret parts.

I briefly took part in a pre-game live blog by the great people of and on Melt Your Face Off. I'd never done that with them and everyone was really nice and very welcoming. It made me feel kind of like when I first met Moose and his friends. If, when I met Moose and his friends, it was good, I had fun, and didn't want to kick his head in in the first 5 minutes.

Oh yeah, right. The Penguins played a great game, getting bounces, getting lucky and won 3-2. My feeling going into the game was that you can't and won't hold a player of Crosby's magnitude off the scoresheet for that long. His team HAD to win and he responded as a captain and best player should by scoring twice and leading all the way down the line. My god that kid skates well, doesn't he? Not as in pretty, but he's so powerful on his skates. His center of gravity is so low he could be a snake. You always hear a lot about how powerful Sidney's legs are, and tonight you really saw it. You know what you don't hear a lot about though? My ability to salsa dance.

Poor Chris Osgood. Only in the NHL is news that one of the hottest pieces of ass in Hollywood fantasizes about you in the bathtub the worst thing that could happen to you. Chris was sailing along, two shut-outs in tow to a Conn Smythe trophy, when Kristen Bell comes out and admits that she literally used to write "Mrs. Osgood" on her high school duotang. No-ooo, that's not distracting at all. Even less so when every news outlet this side of Brisbane, Australia picked up the story and asked Osgood about it 200 times a day. Want proof? Well, Osgood went from a combined 2 game save percentage of 1.000 in games 1 and 2 to an Andrew Raycroft like .875 in game 3. Nice one, Kristen. You just cost Mr. "Sad Eyes" a chance to make history. On a realted note: Can you imagine the shit Osgood is getting for this at home?

Speaking of Kristen Bell, she brings up another thing I wanted to mention. He Score, He Shoot! is expanding again! First it was blogging, then it was podcasting, and now, we're proud to announce, magazine publishing! I know, I know, right?! And who do you think is on the cover this month? Well, sexy, it's the aforementioned goaler lover Kristen Bell! Have a look at HS/HS #1. Vol. 1:


We had a little deadline trouble. As you can see this was supposed to come out at Christmas but we went through some financial hiccups, which thankfully got cleared up. But hey, it's Christmas somewhere, right??
Our business lawyer feels we're expanding too quickly, but I don't think so. It just feels like it's the right time for a small, hockey based blog to come out with a men's magazine. It was either that, or what Moose was pushing for, a line of personal lubricants. "All in good time, Moose", I said. "All in good time."

Reached For Comment, Yogi Berra Said: "Oh Yeah, It's Over."

It's amazing to think that oh so long ago, in the distant past, hockey pundits all over North America...sorry, Canada, were stepping over themselves in excitement over what they all believed would be one of the best and highest scoring Finals ever. That was last Friday. Who would have ever thought what 3 days, a warm veteran goalie and an intimidated Russian former Conn Smythe trophy candidate could do.

Is it that Pittsburgh have played that bad, or is it simply that Detroit is that good? Parts of both, I think. For example: In game 1, Marc-Andre Fleury was bad for two periods. Fist period, super solid. Second period, he bobbles a catchable puck and gets lucky with that double post. He wasn't the same from that point on. He was bad on the Samuelson (game winner) wrap around and he HAS to stop the Zetterberg snap shot. This isn't November. Ty Conklin is not coming in in case you have an off night, Maffer. This isn't even the semi's. This is the 'F' word. Final.

Down at the other end, Chris Osgood has two shutouts, and has played... okay? That's not to take anything away from him. Two shutouts, back to back is awesome in October, let alone in the final, but he just hasn't really been tested because everyone else on that team is so fucking good. The irony in this is that Osgood will now win the Conn Smythe and we who read about hockey in the spring will have to endure even more lazy journalists writing terrible punny headlines like: "So Far, So Osgood", and "Osgood, Os Great" and "Osgood As It Gets". I'm looking at you, everyone who writes for The Sun media.

Strangely, watching how dynamite this Wings team is in a way shows you how good the Pens are. Detroit is clicking so well, you see that if this were any other team playing them, the scores so far wouldn't be 4-0 and 3-0, they would have been 8-0 and 6-0. This series is over though. Pittsburgh will take one of the two in Mellon, (probably game 3) which conveniently sets up the Wings to win it at home.

Oh, hey, can any sports network out there produce and air a package about Nick Lidstrom? I certainly haven't seen any, and I'd love to see what it's like when every hockey personality on Earth waxes rhapsodic about Lidstrom's skills as a defenseman. Or go on and on about how classy he is. Or go on about how he leads not with words, but by example. Or go on and on and on about how he might be the first European to Captain a Cup team. Wow, the media really hasn't picked up on this under-the-radar player.

Here's something: Versus reports that game 1 Final rating is up 157% over last year. Raising the total number of U.S. viewers to 157. Whoa, whoa, let's not break out the bubbly too quick, Commissioner! These "good" numbers will disappear when the series shifts over to NBC for game 3. Moving a show around the schedule is horrible for its ratings potential, and moving networks is fatal. The average sports viewer can't use the channel changer with his left hand let alone traverse the cable line up from channel 267 to 4. But hey, at least Commissioner Gary opened up the Sunbelt, right? Click on the flow chart below for the whole, awful ratings story:

Destroying An Historic Piece of Canadian Hockey Heritage...Priceless

Spokane Wins Destroys Memorial Cup

The 2008 Mastercard Memorial Cup is in the books and apparently the Spokane Chief's don't want there to be one in 2009. In quite possibly the funniest moment I've ever witnessed in a hockey arena (save for Greener mummifying his groin region with six rolls of tape each week), Spokane Captain Chris Bruton, hoisted the Cup...



Where's the P.A. system with "We Are The Champions" when you need it? The look of embarrassment and horror on Bruton's face doesn't need any words, but just in case, here's four: Ice. Swallow. Me. Whole.

As for the game, the Chief's scored a convincing 4-1 win over the hosts and OHL Champion, Kitchener Rangers. But the real story was once again Dustin Tokarski - that's "Toka" to his friends. The kid has been nails since the start of the playoffs, and earned every bit of his Memorial Cup MVP award with a 53 save performance today. He was awesome in the third period when the Rangers threw everything they could at him. You have to think his draft stock is only going to continue to rise in the coming weeks.

In my my last post on Tokarski, I wondered how so many goalies could be rated ahead of him. So, I wanted to post some scouting comments from Kyle Woodlief of Red Line Report, whose opinion I really respect:

"As for Tokarski, Red Line has been skeptical all season, but the numbers he's putting up and the mental toughness he has shown are getting hard to ignore. He still reminds us a bit too much of other average WHL goaltenders with terrific defensive teams in front of them (think Kelly Guard on Kelowna's 2003-04 club or Brent Belecki on Portland's 1997-98 team). There are other goaltenders we like better in the middle rounds, but we acknowledge that Tokarski will certainly go much higher than we have him ranked."

I tend to disagree, somewhat. I know the Chief's are a good defensive team, but the saves Tokarski made throughout this tournament were not of the sharp-angle, "we'll take what you give us" variety. He made more than his share of 5 bellers, and his positioning is so solid, that he's always there to make the 2nd save when needed. I guess time will tell.

It was the 2nd Memorial Cup win for Spokane, who went 4-0 in the tournament and beat Kitchener twice in their barn. Well deserved. They got great leadership from Bruton and David Rutherford (blocking shots all over the place), big goals from Drayson Bowman (tournament leading 6 goals) and how about Jared Cowen? If this kid keeps improving like he should, John Tavares and Victor Hedman better look over their shoulders. He already looks like a lock to go top 5 in the 2009 draft, possibly higher. He has "Franchise Defenceman" written all over him.

Besides the obvious guys for Kitchener (Boedker, Halischuk, Azevedo), the kid that really impressed was Nazem Kadri. Lot's of skill and poise with the puck. He's another for the 2009 draft and it should be interesting to watch him progress next year. Have to think he's got first round talent as well.

On The Record

The Quickest Finals Preview Ever


About 15 minutes from the drop of the puck for Game 1, and sitting here at a Memorial Day (weekend) BBQ. Thought this would be a good time to get away from the damp weather, carcinogenic meats, and a bunch of tattooed hipsters I've never met. Let's get down on the record for the Stanley Cup Finals.

For all the comparisons of these Penguins to those Oilers, people forget there first came the Islanders. The young Oilers took the league by storm, until they ran into an experienced, veteran-laden, and talented bunch from Long Island. The lessons from that failure ultimately turned the Oilers into the great team they would become. I think the Red Wings will teach the Penguins how to become champions. Detroit in 5.

Greener wanted me to pass on that he likes Pittsburgh in 3. Enjoy!

The NHL Schedule: An Exact Science

Say, I wonder whatever happened in the Stanley Cup playoffs of 2008? I can't remember who won the Cup, because they were playing so long ago. They must've awarded it by now, right? It's like trying to remember when you were a baby...when you're 80. You're pretty sure it happened, but it's real, real fuzzy.

The reason for this is because the lawyers who run the NHL thought it'd be totally fine to have a weeks layover between the last conference championship game and game 1 of the final. Of course, this makes sense; The NHL's American profile is so big it can afford to be off the minds of every sports fan in the U.S. during its best and most important time of the season. The average American fan, so coveted by former NBA great Gary Bettman, will never forget that hockey exists, right? That's the sport where they go round and round in a circle until someone dies in a fiery 10 car crash, right? Yes, Gomer, that's right.

Here is an illustration designed by scientists, now found in textbooks and used to demonstrate to students from K-12 just how much of a joke the NHL is:

Man, scientists make learning fun! When I get big, I want to be a scientist! No, wait. I want to be a lawyer!

Here's another way to see it: Baseball's playoff is the October Classic. Football's is the Super Bowl. The NHL's is a week of Will & Grace re-runs on NBC. But again, it doesn't matter, because it's on everyone's lips. The Stanley Cup Final. Detroit and Pittsburgh. Superstars of past, present and future. Youth vs. Experience. Motown vs. Steeltown...

Fade To:

(GRACE IS SITTING ON THE COUCH READING A MAGAZINE WHEN JACK ENTERS.]

JACK: Hi. Is Will back from his date with that cop guy?

GRACE: No, still out.

JACK: He is? I figured by now he be curled up in his bed crying himself into a Snickers bar. [GIGGLES]

GRACE: Why do you do that, Jack? You're his friend. Why does Will's pain always amuse you?

JACK: 'Member that time his date went so badly, he came home and started writing a play? [LAUGHS]

GRACE: Ah! You mean, If Gay Means Happy, Why Am I So Sad? Yes, that--

[GRACE AND JACK LAUGH HYSTERICALLY.]

Indian or Chief?

Sloppy Seconds of Dustin Tokarski



Just watching the Memorial Cup this week, and one guy has really stood out: Spokane netminder Dustin Tokarski. The guy has been on a tear since the WHL playoffs started, and hasn't dropped off in this tournament.

"Dusty" or "Toks," or whatever highly imaginative nickname his teammates have given him, had a great regular season. He ranked 5th in the WHL in wins (30), 3rd in GAA (2.05), 2nd in shutouts (6), and first in save percentage (.922). But he was even better in the WHL playoffs, going 16-2, posting a 1.38, with a .944 save percentage and 3 shutouts. Those are pretty gaudy numbers. He reads the play well, his positioning is great, and he seems to make that timely big save.

I can't get my head around the fact that this kid is ranked 9th by Central Scouting among North American goalies for this years' draft. ISS has him ranked 5th among ALL goalies, which seems a tad more accurate, but if there are a handful better than him in this draft, then it must be a very strong crop. Want proof? Here is Central Scouting's #1 ranked goalie Thomas McCollum:

Uh...well, I'm just saying. Tokarski has been climbing the charts on a lot of scouts lists, and I would expect he could crack the 2nd round by the time the Memorial Cup is in the books. He's been dynamite when it matters most. But don't take my word for it, I'm obviously not his only fan.

Good to see the Chiefs back in the Memorial Cup Final. I became something of a minor fan back in the Falloon-Whitney days. More Memorial Cup thoughts in a couple days.

Edit (7:26pm): Special thanks to Heather, who obviously used her telepathic powers to inspire this post, and is clearly a good judge of hockey talent.

HS/HS Radio Episode 2! We Can't Believe It Either!

Never satisfied with sitting around on our laurels, mainly because we heard once that laurels go on your head, your friends here at He Score, He Shoot have gone and done what no one, especially themselves, thought they'd ever do again. No, not have another homosexual "experiment session", I mean record another episode of HS/HS Radio!

Taking painstaking hours to put together, and using the skills worthy of the finest craftsmen, Norte Wash Moose I offer up something delicious to finally take the place of that awful Counting Crows album in your iPod. You know the one. Its got that terrible song on it. No, wait. Its got those terrible songs on it.

Just click on the post title above, and begin possible enjoyment. And for God's sake, tell us what you think of it in the comments section. Moose can take it. To set the scene, here's a picture we snapped during recording. Thanks!