Director of Handjobs?

Oilers camp is open! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! This is my final day visiting family in Canada (a true Eklund opener if I've ever seen one) and as such my final chance to open up those hallowed pages of the Edmonton Journal and get some good, down home reporting. Couple interesting notes, followed by a rebuttal to Greener's clever repartee. I guess I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Push that Volvo Greener! I'm not doin it right, huh?

Soooo, first of all, it seems that about half the returning Oilers took part in off season "Team" training. This is a new phenomenon (doo-dooooo-do-do-do) where, rather than each player following their own offseason training schedule, about 15 of the Oil did the same prep. Chad Moreau, brother to gummy Oiler Ethan Moreau (voted most handsome guy at some bar one time), is a professional trainer who mixes hard off ice training with some hockey specific stuff. Apparently he even had them doing Ultimate Fighting training. I'm happy that the guys are doing this sort of team building exercise re: kicking the snot out of each other. What is exciting about this though, is that they have already gone through a battle together, before the team has played one game, and that Ethan is traditionally one of the most fit guys on the team due to his brothers regime, so if 15 of the Oil are in that kind of shape, third period wobblies may be a thing of the past. One final note here, apparently mohawked ne'er-do-well (Award to me for being the first to use that in a post) Raffi Torres just came out and admitted he's always been bad for the off season training and that this is the first year he actually got in shape away from the regular season. Phew!


Also, early rumors have it that Schremp is showing signs of making an impact at camp. Is it possible? Have the dreadfully thin on the front end Oilers finally decided to give a chance to one of their most gifted and offensively talented prospects? Has MacT waived his iron clad "Only Defensive Forwards" clause? No wait. Oh! They're bringing up Detlef Schrempf, Semi-All-Star retired Seattle Supersonic, ahead of Robbie. I love this team.



And yes. Tis true. I, Washingtron, have just been appointed Director of Handjobs for EASports. Thank you Greener for this slightly embarassing revelation. Obviously its a great career move for me, and I hope to appoint you my Under Secretary of Heavy Pettery. I know you're qualified after reading YOUR completely unbiased post on the new Leafs jerseys. Yup. You know what down the middle fence riding journalistic integrity is all about! And now that you've dissed my opinions on EA's latest opus, I'm sorry to say you're no longer invited to play NHL 08 at my house. You know how you're always wanting to come over to play video games? I guess you don't like them very much after all. Besides, I only have two controllers and Moose has constant dibs on the other one.

See ya at the airport!
Washingtron