Friday, January 25

The TV Guide Says...Hey, It's All-Star Weekend!

The All-Star game is this weekend, and like every year I'm actually looking forward to it. It's so easy to just pawn off any all-star competition as an all-hype event where millionaires show up to compete at 1/3 the pace, skill and ability, all of which, I may add, are true. But there's something different about the NHL's weekend that makes it actually bearable watchable. Besides the fact that not one single player in the game will be fat, the chief difference is that in the NHL All-Star game, the players actually seems to have fun being there and participating. In other sports' "all-star" games, you see the faraway looks in the players eyes as they realize that by being there they had to turn down an opportunity to have sex with Mariah Carey. With hockey players, the dialogue is more like this:

"Oh geez. Hey, man, what's happening?"
"Ah, nothin."
"How're ya gonna beat Brodeur in the skills competition?"
"Oh, I dunno. Just gotta put the puck to the net, and see what happens."
"Yeah, I hear ya. Just gotta go hard for 60 minutes."
"Yeah"
"Hey, how's your Mum?"

Etc, etc. You know, you can't blame them for that. Life is hard playing hockey in the NHL, what with all of the modesty and children's hospital visiting. The fact is, we're the luckiest fans in the world. The fact that Mats isn't in the game notwithstanding.

23 comments:

Norte said...

Speaking of which, hey, how's your Mum?

Loser Domi said...

New skill contest: Yo momma fight!

Loser Domi said...

Now THAT shows promise

/not really

Norte said...

hey loser domi: I love the idea of a Yo Momma competition. Here's one for Greener.

Greener, Yo Momma so old she died in May of 2000.

Loser Domi said...

@norte: yo momma so ugly she makes you look cute

Norte said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Loser Domi said...

@Loser-Domi: Yo Momma got so much hair on her chest that her Breasts remind me of Coconuts


yo Momma so short you can see her feet on he driver's license

Jaredoflondon said...

yo mamas so dumb she's a Sens fan!

Loser Domi said...

@ anyone: yo momma so cold they don't need a Zamboni she just looks at water and it freezes

Jaredoflondon said...

yo mama's so ugly, when she was a baby they had to put a pork chop round her neck to get the dog to play with her.

Loser Domi said...

yo momma so fat, Jabba the Hut said "DAYYYYYMN!"

Jaredoflondon said...

Yo mama's so fat, when she puts on a red shirt people yell "Hey Kool-Aid!"

Loser Domi said...

yo momma's so ugly she made a mime scream!

Jaredoflondon said...

Yo mama's teeth so yellow, when she yawns, traffic slows down.

Loser Domi said...

your momma's so tiny she can hang-glide off of a Dorito!

Jaredoflondon said...

Yo mama's so nasty, she gotta sneek up on bath water.

Loser Domi said...

What's the difference between yo mommma and gas prices?

Gas prices keep going up on the public, your momma keeps going down on the public.

Jaredoflondon said...

Yo mama's like the city bus, all you need is 1.50 to ride.

Loser Domi said...

yo momma's like a Happy Meal--cheap, small, and greasy

Jaredoflondon said...

Yo mama's so ugly, when she goes to the beach, the tide wont come in.

Loser Domi said...

yo momma's like a hardware store: 5 cents a screw

Loser Domi said...

hoo boy, that was fun. Took me back to middle school, man. Jared, I'm sorry for talking so much shit about your mom. I didn't mean anything (although is there really a lack of material? :P)

Jaredoflondon said...

No worries LD, I think I gave as good as I took.