Wednesday, March 26

Leafs Dealt Near-Fatal Blow

Trying to find words to express everything is tough right now. I went to Pension Plan Puppets to check the wind over there. "Operation Cock Tease" as PPP put it, is now pretty much over. He says that seeing as how the pressure on the Leafs is back, they do a phoner and lose 6-2. I'd like to think that the Leafs were due for a loss right about now, which just happens to be the worst time of the year. They've had trouble with the Bruins all year, and if Claude "Let's All Get Some Z's" Julien couldn't motivate them for this game, he deserved to be fired.
No Mats, no Antro, and Matt Stajan is only one man, people! I guess the season isn't totally over. Everyone could lose in the next week. But...oh god, I'm tired.

So obviously, Kyle Wellwood reads this blog because after having me hand his angel food cake ass to him for the past season, he was clearly shamed into being close to his former excellence in the past two games. Either that or getting benched by Paul Maurice gave him a vision into Earth's days to come; a terrifying look into a future-world gone mad! The year is 2010, and diminutive hockey centerman Kyle Wellwood is riding a bus with other members of his team, the Rochester Americans! Rated PG for no violence and mild language. Now available on DVD and Blu-ray.

As for the near-fatal blow, every single one of us reading this post understands what this means. For all you ladies out there, and by ladies, I mean Loser Domi, you'll just have to imagine how this feels. Think of the worst hangover you've ever had, and then focus all that into your genitals. That was this loss for the Leafs tonight.


4 comments:

Jaredoflondon said...

The dreaded crotch hangover....stupid Leafs.

Norte said...

Double unh-

Navin Vaswani said...

i drank myself to sleep to numb the pain...

Loser Domi said...

Well, when I was about 12 I was riding my bicycle really, really fast down a slight hill. The chain broke so I crash-landed with the bar slammed in between my legs. I may or may not have flipped over the bike as well, but that's beside the point since my crotch HURT LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER after that. Probably the worse physical pain I have been in. So yeah, crotch shots can hurt ladies as well.

@navin: I would have done the same but I'm pretty much out of booze, so I need to go shopping later.