Wednesday, May 28

Osgood Lets In Goal. Kristen Bell's Vag Not Amused

Two things of note this morning:

1. That the Penguins played a great game, and, as I predicted a mere post ago, won game three at Mellon against the Red Wings.

2. That the title above is the first time I've mentioned vagina's on this blog. Can you believe my restraint? It's not that difficult really, as my other blog is called "YOU, ME, AND VAGINA MAKES 3" It's a non-judgmental users guide to a woman's most secret parts.

I briefly took part in a pre-game live blog by the great people of and on Melt Your Face Off. I'd never done that with them and everyone was really nice and very welcoming. It made me feel kind of like when I first met Moose and his friends. If, when I met Moose and his friends, it was good, I had fun, and didn't want to kick his head in in the first 5 minutes.

Oh yeah, right. The Penguins played a great game, getting bounces, getting lucky and won 3-2. My feeling going into the game was that you can't and won't hold a player of Crosby's magnitude off the scoresheet for that long. His team HAD to win and he responded as a captain and best player should by scoring twice and leading all the way down the line. My god that kid skates well, doesn't he? Not as in pretty, but he's so powerful on his skates. His center of gravity is so low he could be a snake. You always hear a lot about how powerful Sidney's legs are, and tonight you really saw it. You know what you don't hear a lot about though? My ability to salsa dance.

Poor Chris Osgood. Only in the NHL is news that one of the hottest pieces of ass in Hollywood fantasizes about you in the bathtub the worst thing that could happen to you. Chris was sailing along, two shut-outs in tow to a Conn Smythe trophy, when Kristen Bell comes out and admits that she literally used to write "Mrs. Osgood" on her high school duotang. No-ooo, that's not distracting at all. Even less so when every news outlet this side of Brisbane, Australia picked up the story and asked Osgood about it 200 times a day. Want proof? Well, Osgood went from a combined 2 game save percentage of 1.000 in games 1 and 2 to an Andrew Raycroft like .875 in game 3. Nice one, Kristen. You just cost Mr. "Sad Eyes" a chance to make history. On a realted note: Can you imagine the shit Osgood is getting for this at home?

Speaking of Kristen Bell, she brings up another thing I wanted to mention. He Score, He Shoot! is expanding again! First it was blogging, then it was podcasting, and now, we're proud to announce, magazine publishing! I know, I know, right?! And who do you think is on the cover this month? Well, sexy, it's the aforementioned goaler lover Kristen Bell! Have a look at HS/HS #1. Vol. 1:

We had a little deadline trouble. As you can see this was supposed to come out at Christmas but we went through some financial hiccups, which thankfully got cleared up. But hey, it's Christmas somewhere, right??
Our business lawyer feels we're expanding too quickly, but I don't think so. It just feels like it's the right time for a small, hockey based blog to come out with a men's magazine. It was either that, or what Moose was pushing for, a line of personal lubricants. "All in good time, Moose", I said. "All in good time."


Chemmy said...

I'm in sexual harassment training at work right now, and you should know that calling Kristen Bell a fine piece of ass is discouraged.

They would prefer you say that Kristen Bell is an intelligent hard worker who always completes its non gender specific work on time.

(Someone rescue me please)

eyebleaf said...


eyebleaf said...

i've got a new wallpaper. thank you.

PPP said...

While Moose looks good in his military uniform he should know that in any war I would fight to win regardless of what that entailed.

Also, yes.

Moose said...

If you're excited about that, you should see a couple of things we have in the works for issue #2

- Gretz on '93: "Wasn't me"

- Let's Go Get A Burrito: A 24 Hour Hell Ride With Greener.


- His Cup Runneth Over: Moose shows fans just the spot for that 6th Oiler Cup ring!

Greener said...

Well hooray, Moose is back. Jesus what an asshole.

PPP said...

- His Cup Runneth Over: Moose shows fans just the spot for that 6th Oiler Cup ring!

On Chris Pronger's finger?

Greener said...

See? Chaz, the headline editor was right! War!

Anonymous said...

this is washingtron.
The you, me and vagina makes 3 joke was very good.
And now to disappear back into my cave of uncaring!

Moose said...

Hey, fuck's on LAUREN Pronger's finger. Got it, asshole?

Moose said...

Who is Washingtron?

Heather said...

Sidney's powerful legs? Perhaps Kristen is liking the wrong dude...