Monday, May 12

What's The NBA Got That We Don't? Oh Yeah...

Does anyone out there have contact information for Braydon Coburn? I want to send him the URL for an article on ESPN.com "The Leader in something something", which told me in no uncertain term that Kobe Bryant's sore back won't keep him from playing game 5 in the Western semi-finals on Wednesday! Wow, what a warrior!!

According to ESPN's fawning tribute impartial article, the sore back had Kobe "wincing in pain" during the game. Ouch! That smarts, huh Kobe! Did that happen when that guy bumped into you? Or was it when that other dude tossed you the ball, and you had to jump? How do those b-ballers do it? I guess it just makes sense that NBA ratings...well that the NBA actually has ratings, and the four people here in the U.S. who watch hockey: me, Chemmy, Moose and Heather from Wrap Around Curl have to listen to "NHL on Versus" host Bill Patrick try to assuage the anger of the mouth-breathers waiting for bullriding to come on when the Stars/Sharks game goes into overtime.

Meanwhile, Flyers GM Paul Holmgren told the (probably all Canadian) media that Coburn is "doubtful" for game three against the Penguins. Why? Just because a slapshotted puck tore the top of his head off, almost killing him? Yeah, whatever Coburn. Don't expect to be back in a Flyers jersey next year, pussy.

This is the same media which venerates baseball players. I'm telling you, I think I once heard Bob Costas (whom I really like and respect) once say that baseball players were the best athletes in the world. I mean, am I crazy? I really remember hearing him say that. I'd say the average poll vaulter is a better conditioned athelete than the average ball player. You ever see a baseball training camp workout? It starts with a spirited game of catch, followed by excruciating toe-touches, then, off to the showers, boys, because those beers ain't going to drink themselves!

Right now Braydon Coburn isn't pissed off because he looks like Zombie #6 in Dawn of the Dead, it's because he knows he's "doubtful" for game 3 against the Penguins. I guarantee you that has him "wincing in pain" a lot more than Kobe Bryant.


5 comments:

Chemmy said...

Excuse me I live in the US.

eyebleaf said...

that picture of korver is gold. what a loser.

Greener said...

Oh shit, that's right Chem, New York City. See edit.

Moose said...

Awesome post

Jaredoflondon said...

fuck basketball, and to a greater degree, baseball.