Friday, July 11

Ray Emery: Мудак

The delightful taste of crow is resonating in the mouth of Ray "Na, Na, Goodbye" Emery right now with news that he's signed a deal to play in Russia's new Continental League, or, as it's known around the world, "The-who-in-the-what-now?"

Ole' Razor locker-room cancered himself out of an NHL career last season, going from undisputed #1 goalie to undisputed #1 guy to get to work late and leave early. When you act the way Ray did in the NHL, it is a VERY short Hummer ride from Stanley Cup final to only 3 teams calling you as a free agent; and then to only offer you training camp tryouts.

Emery's agent, J.P. Barry, had this to say through surely clenched teeth:

"Unfortunately, it's only been a short time since the buyout and there isn't anybody willing to give (Emery) a second chance at this time, I think if people knew the things that he's done over the last little while to turn the corner, there might be more interest out there."
Those little things include not rolling through stop signs or spitting inside the Rideau Center.

We'll see how smug Ray is when he's eating yet another bowl of potato soup made by the team chef. A woman who also doubles as the coaches mother. What's the over/under on how fast Ray learns the Russian version of the fuck you middle finger and gives it to the crowd? The home crowd.

26 comments:

Heather said...

First, I will go with my standard: "Ain't nobody watching you Emery, you ain't that fly."

Then I will follow up with a Russian Reversal soon as I think of a semi decent one.

That's the Wrap Around Curl style.

eyebleaf said...

is it wrong that i kind of feel bad for ray emery? i mean, even andrew fucking raycroft got another gig. and emery can't get one? i know he's a severe douchebag but, really, raycroft can get work in the NHL but emery can't? really? really?

Greener said...

Really, Nav. Dude, how can you shit on Raycroft without pity but feel bad when an over-rated, over-paid prick in pads gets his just desserts? Who would you honestly rather have in your locker room?

Ian P said...

Raycroft still has a job in the NHL because despite the fact that his save percentage will likely never break .900 again, he is not a complete assclown. By signing him, you may have to deal with the fact that you'll lose 80% of the games he starts.. but a weak glove side is probably easier to work on at practice than eliminating serious douchebag personality traits. Add that to the fact that he actually used to be decent goalie, and you can make arguments that once he's out of Toronto's bright media lights he could serve as a competent backup.

Letting Emery suit up for your team, on the other hand, makes perfect sense in Russia where most of your roster doesn't have a clue what the hell he's saying when he opens his mouth and nobody's got money for blow.

Don't feel bad for Ray. He got exactly what being a bad-ass gangsta gets you in a team sport.

Greener said...

Ian P: Right, as usual.

eyebleaf said...

you guys are right. as you can see, watching raycroft these last two years has really fucked me up. to the point where i feel bad for ray fucking emery. i don't know, just based on their performance, emery seems like the way, way, way, way better goalie. but what you guys are saying makes sense: it's about what he brings into the room.

man, i need help.

the raycroft nightmares have almost stopped. i'm getting better.

thanks for helping me see the light. don't give up on me.

Greener said...

We're always here for you Nav.

general borschevsky said...

Hey Greener.
I'm with eyebleaf on this one. I'd take Emery over Raycroft any day. Maybe Emery had too much attitude, too much ego, but at least he believed in himself. Raycrap's confidence was non-existent, and that deflates a teammate's performance as much as anything. It's really hard to play in front of a goalie who's so fragile. On the other hand, having a chip on your shoulder, a little attitude, and refusing to back down, goes a long way (like all the way to Moscow, I guess).
I blame Gerber. He was the guy who underperformed and let Emery steal the starters job. It was never intended for Ray in the first place. You wanna talk about a loser, how 'bout a starting goalie who goes to the Finals twice, only to sit on the bench both times, then when he's finally reclaimed the starting role, loses 4 straight in the opening round. Gerber sucks.

Jaredoflondon said...

Raycroft or Emery.....I'll take Marc Denis for 500 Alex

ScotieJ said...

Ray Emery was not the only douchebag in the League last year, Sean Avery for one... probably a lot more that we dont know about for two...

You can work on and take the chance that you can fix a weak glove hand... Can you do that with a bad attitude and rumours of blowing his cheque?

There are enough idiots stupid enough to wear those pads around that you don't need to risk him affecting the room....

Tho to be honest... is there something going on as well that maybe everyone is avoiding asking??

Greener said...

At the end of the day Gen, you're damned both ways with either Raycroft or Emery. Having no confidence in your goalie is terrible and leads to losses. (See 07/08) Leafs. But hating the guy behind you, enjoying when he gets thrown out of practice, not feeling like he believes in the team is also death on ice (See 07/08 Senators.

The difference maker is attitude. Which of those two guys was genuinely happy when the team won without him? Who meant it when he congratulated his replacement after a win?

For me, if you're going to lose, you might as well lose with dignity.

general borschevsky said...

Well said, Greener.

eyebleaf said...

for me, if you're going to lose, you might as well go out like a complete bitch!!!

and to scotiej: yes, i do believe this all has something to do with the fact that he's black. ray emery: he puts the black in blacklisted.

Greener said...

Nav, you're not serious, are you?

eyebleaf said...

no, i'm not Greener. emery's just a moron. although he's still the better "Razor"

Greener said...

Ah, ok good. Just making sure.

Loser Domi said...

@heather: in Soviet Russia , Douche bags YOU!!

in Soviet Russia, cockraoch bites you!!

Washingtron said...

I enjoy both the post and the comments on this site. I choose to honor that by contributing nothing to either.

Greener said...

Right, Wash. It's like, why start now?

Jaredoflondon said...

Who the hell is that?

Greener said...

I actually have no idea. Anyone?

dani said...

New reader. Hi.

I must say I dislike Ray Emery with a fiery passion, but I will miss the "Emmmm reeyyyy emmm reeyyyy" chants.

Greener said...

Hi Dani, welcome!

Did you ever see when that Ottawa creep Bruce Garrioch was on the Sabres telecast getting laughed at by Rob Ray and company...wait let me look for it...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=isCI7eB_Yuk

God, I hate the Senators.

dani said...

Oh yes. I remember that. That just boiled up some very pissy feelings.

Ottawa: "ah ah eh uh uh it was clean... ah ah hhaaa."

I hate the Sens too.

Heather said...

Greener, Dani runs a charming Sabres blog.

dani said...

Awww you think it's charming? Thanks!