Tuesday, August 5

He Score, He Shoot: We're #1!

The date of August the 6th is one that over the centuries has come to mark momentous events in the history of mankind. August 6, 1661 saw the Treaty of the Hague signed between the Portuguese and the Dutch. August 6, 1806, Francis ll, the last Roman Emperor abdicates, ending the Holy Roman Empire. And, of course, who could ever forget August 6th, 2000, when the Roman Catholic Church's Congregation For the Doctrine of the Faith, published Dominus Iesus, notable for its lack of the filioque clause in the Latin text of the Nicene Creed.

But one special day really, really stands out: That of August the 6th 2007, because on that day saw the creation of your friend and mine, HE SCORE, HE SHOOT!

Yes! It was a mere year ago when 4 hunky lads with nothing better to do decided that the best way to use that time was to take their unbridled love for their respective teams, and unmitigated boredom for each others, and try to be funny on the internet! What's that you say? They needn't have bothered? Well to that, I say, shut up Moose! You'll get your turn in a minute.

Speaking of turning our attention away from Moose, let me throw it to Norte, who, besides loving the Leafs as much as anyone not named Greener can, he has also probably considered naming his children after Monty Python characters. And that is a compliment. What'cha say, Norte?

99 Problems But A Bitch Aint One

The etymology of the word anniversary dates back to Middle England, right around the 13th century mark, when those mead-driven, shit slathered heathens were still using the word anniversarie which in itself was a derivite of the Medieval Latin word anniversarium, itself a neuter of the word anniversarius meaning to return annually (from annus year + versus, past participle of vertere or to turn). In this instance I am using it as a noun, as they would have. Happy Anniversary HS/HS - you hardly look a day over none.

On a personal note, it's the traditional present to give paper on your first anniversary so I would like to thank Moose for the Zig Zags (they're exactly what I wanted) and Greener, I hope you like the issue of Star Hits magazine from 1985 with that photo of John Taylor that you needed for your "collection". In all seriousness guys its a pleasure to write for you and with you. Much the same way video game systems in the 90's re-sparked my somewhat dormant interest in hockey; writing about it has made me love it even that much more. I thank you both for that. I just wish I were someone else so I could read the blog but I'm not and can't but maybe one of these days I actually might.

Thinking about the 2 of you, I am reminded of something Sid Vicious said about his girlfriend Nancy Spungen on the eve of their very own 1st anniversary. He said that, "she was the kind of girl who licked out toilets."
Love isn't too strong a word and admiration isn't either, but enough about me, regardless whether its boredom, loneliness, admiration or an almost unspoken contractual obligation that keeps us all coming back to He Score, He Shoot, thank god we do. You guys are like brothers to me, well, Moose is.

A special shout out to PPP. PPP if you can imagine HS/HS like the Beatles, wrapping your head around me, Norte, as John; married to a Chinese woman, penchants for substance and sarcastic, raised by his Aunt Julia. Greener as Paul: bass, vegetarian, glass half full, singer of silly love songs; and Moose as the Quiet Greek One with both the soto voce and swarthy appearance to double as both our George and our Ringo. (And Washingtron as Julian; couple of good songs but forgotten) then that means you are Billy Preston. So thank you for playing piano on "Get Back", it's awesome.
Awww, I'm touched. To be told on your anniversary that you remind someone of a person who may have knifed his lover on the floor of a roach motel in a heroin haze is really what friendship is all about.

Now back to the celebrations! As part of the festivities, I've taken the liberty of writing some music commemorating the occasion. Music is just something I dabble in, and I really just cobbled this together from an opera I'm writing about the Nicene Creed, but still.

As you can see, it's pretty straightforward. Alright now. Everyone ready? Ok then, all together now...a one and a two...OH GODDAMN IT JARED, COME ON! CAN'T YOU SEE IT'S IN 12/8 TIME?! WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS, 2/4?! DOES THAT LOOK LIKE A MARCH TO YOU?
Ah Jesus, look, while I give a certain someone a lesson in Compound time signatures, lets pass it along to Moose, and see how he's enjoying the party:

A little over 12 months ago, Greener and I were beating the heat (no, I said heat) at a local burrito shop, talking about hockey. That's when I asked him to join my hockey blog. A couple bites of Machaca, a couple sips of Jamaica, add a couple of Canadians and toss lightly. Viola! HS/HS was born.

As any hockey fan knows, it's important for a team to set the tone right from the start, which is why I came out guns-a-blazin' with a post about...Brad Winchester and Mike Bishai. Yeah, normally that's the kind of thing that gets you benched, but thankfully the organization stuck with me.

We'd like to think the franchise has blossomed from those plucky expansion beginnings. Along the way, we've had a lot of fun and even a touch of scandal. Unfortunately it was a rough season on the ice for the Leafs and Oilers, but we can't say it didn't make the jokes that much easier to write. I mean stories about getting tea-bagged by your infant son are sooo much funnier when you're fighting for your playoff lives.

A couple of quick thanks:

First and foremost, to EVERYONE who reads our blog. We started HS/HS mostly for ourselves, to talk hockey and have some laughs. It's very rewarding that you guys stop by and laugh with us, not to mention at us. The camaraderie we've built with all you guys/gals (you know who you are) and your great blogs has made this exponentially more fun.

Greener. I jest, but without him there is no HS/HS. He works his ass off and puts in a lot of time making this blog look the part. While we all resent him for being an overbearing jerk and acting like he's our boss, we know we couldn't do it without him. Seriously, he's the only one with admin privileges to the site. Thanks, Greener.
Lastly, I'm an old-fashioned kinda guy and tradition holds that the first anniversary gift for your partner should be something of paper. So, I wanted to get the guys a little something from my heart.

I'm not going to tell you guys again...stay out of my yard.
I can't say I didn't see this coming. Norte, Wash and I haven't answered our doors all year. Man we just got served! No, seriously. We just got served.

For me. I'd like to say to you all how rewarding writing HS/HS has been. To participate in the most passionate dialogue with some of the nicest, funny and decent people out there has been so great. I've been lucky enough to form friendships with some of you, and just reading your words every day has been a privilege. I'd single you out by name, but I know I'd leave someone out, and I'd hate that. Just have a look at our blogroll and feel really appreciated by us. Also, there are loads of people who come and read and comment, and download the podcasts, and we love you too. Incedentaly, this is a time when I'm not just being my usual sarcastic dick-self. We feel the love. What? No, I just have something in my eye.

Norte, Moose and Wash, thanks for everything. Thank you for your posts and your...uh...well your posts. Without them HS/HS would be 75% shorter, and 10% less funny. You're lovely.


Moose said...

Um, there's a typo in my section. You're making me look bad. Way to go "boss," starting year two with a bang, eh?

Happy Anniversary everyone!

Norte said...

Yeah - happy anniversary boys. See you all next August.

PPP said...

Congratulations to all of you guys.

Moose for remaining an Oilers fan when so many of the original bandwagon hoppers had finally jumped off.

Greener for keeping the faith (but not for ridding us of Moose...still waiting...).

Norte for his hilarious cameos.

Washingtron for...

Keep it up!

eyebleaf said...

cheers, boys. i'm a better person today for having read he score, he shoot, and that's the best compliment i can give you guys.

i love you all.

even moose.

Greener said...

Thanks Nav, P3. Major love and props from us.

Moose, there's a typo in your brain if you think that you asked me to join your blog. It was my idea to you.

Norte said...

I would just like to say to all of you who come and read and comment on the regular (I'm looking at you Nav, Domi, Chemmy, El General B, Wrap Around...Washingtron...)
It really means a lot to all 3 of us.

wrap around curl said...

Congrats boyos!

I sent you a gigantic cake a with a stripper who is supposed to pop out of it. Fedex said she would be there by noon. Start drinking!

Jaredoflondon said...

happy anniversary dudes!

I gotta go though, my agent said something about jumping out of a cake tomorrow.

Chemmy said...

who the hell is washingtron

Norte said...

Chemmy - never a truer statement has been said on HS/HS

Loser Domi said...

*blows party horn, throws confetti*

Congrats, you guys! Break a leg Jared--make sure you don't get any frosting in your eyes, I hear it stings.

dani said...

Happy Birthday! Or Anniversary... whichever...

It's funny that people started blogs after the season ended. Add me to that list of genius.

Greener said...

Dani, I know, right? Genius.

Greener said...

Guys, thank you all so much!

Connie said...

Apparently I'm a bastard. Happy belated birthday, assholes.

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