KEEP READING IF YOU LIKE CREAM IN YOUR JEANS

The truth is, I'd rather take a hot one in the grapes than write an article about Mats Sundin. Quite frankly that's one of the reason's I haven't been appearing as much here on HS/HS. I'm sorry if you think I'm avoiding you.
I could also make excuses about how busy I am or tell you that at this very moment I am infected with something, that when expectorated, looks like it was designed by H.R Geiger. And that when you spend some of your day coughing so hard you wonder if you'll die, wanting to compare Ian White's moustache to that of a pederast suddenly takes a backseat.

I'm on various pills and unguents.

HI, I'M REALLY REALLY SICK...HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

I don't know much, but I know that urine is not supposed to be the colour of Mexican crockery.

Also; tis the season, and this one, especially as a parent, has a way of robbing, not only your money, but your time. A few days after Christmas I found myself weeping at the realization that it was almost 2009 and that I had just spent 45 minutes trying to find parking.
YOU GOTTA KNOW WHEN TO HOLD 'EM, KNOW WHEN TO FOLD 'EM, KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY, KNOW WHEN TO RUN
The truth is I haven't seen a Leafs game in weeks. Missing even the Kings game where our very own rink bunnies 'Greener and Moose' made their appearance. Proving, once again, that like Transformers, there was more than meets the eye.
I was kind of hoping Greener would have tackled the Sundin "issue" in that way he has; concise, funny and relevant. With a visual joke only slightly less funny that I would do. Something like this.He would have something that made us shake our heads and think, hey - I never thought of it like that.
Of course since I have the relevant timing of a pre-mature ejaculator, I'm sure by the time you are reading this, Mats will already have made his triumphant return and ratched out his groin. Or maybe I am so bogged down in the mists of a Nyquil high that it's already happened and I just spooged on your thigh.
Either way, everyone knows its now or never for the Canucks and I'm thinking Antropov for Hodgson sounds about right.

And the less said about Avery the better: although I will say this. Sean Avery is so classless that he asks Joey Buttafuoco to tie his tie. Who in himself is so terrible that he was once portrayed by Jack Scalia.

I feel lightheaded.