Downie Gets 20. Bettman: "We Can Do That?!"

POS Steve Downie is drinking his career through a straw tonight, after the league- and by that I mean Colin Campbell- handed him what is effectively a ticket to the fourth line of the Philadelphia Phantoms by way of a 20 game suspension. The only way this could be any better for civilization is if the suspension was for 1000 games, and that it had to be carried out on Mimas, one of the moons of Saturn.

Reaction was mixed around the league tonight, ranging from "Hooray!!" to "Phew!!". Campbell, desperately trying to prove that the only thing he's done in life is play hockey, said, "Downie crossed the line, and he crossed the line in a whole-heartedly way." thereby hitting the English language as bad as Downie's hit on McAmmond. Even Flyers GM Paul Holmgren knew the term of the suspension was warranted when he said, "We respect his (Campbell's) position and his judgement in this case." and, "We will live with it." Say, Stevie boy, that's not exactly a ringing endorsement from your boss, is it?

That's all fine and good when the guilty player is a fourth line rookie/nobody like Steve Downie. But what about when if the player is a superstar, someone the league doesn't want to get rid of, like Chris "Where the Elbow Meets the Skull" Pronger? Will the league be as hard handed in meting out it's punishment then? Let's see...looking into the future...yeah...yeah, it's coming clearer... No. The answer is no. The league is trying to send a message to undeserving, expendable players, and they just hope that guys like Pronger hold off as long as they can before they decapitate a guy, forcing the league to make, OH GOD! A decision!

To get a little extra perspective on this, please send the kids from the room and cast your eyes on this horror show from 6 months ago:

Suspension for that, 3 motherfucking games. Cam Janssen, a guy whose career NHL stats are these:

DEVILS 95 / 1 / 0 / 1 / -5 / 205

I was going to put in a longer version of the hit from the Devils game coverage featuring the usually excellent Doc Emerick and the clearly retarded Chico Resch, but it was getting me too pissed off. Resch is such a typical broadcast homer, and in the clip he tries to say that the reason Kaberle is leaving the ice ON A STRETCHER is because after the hit, his head hit the boards. That's like saying that the reason the person died in the car crash is because they went through the windshield, not because they were hit head on by the drunk driver.

So the wait is on before the next Blow to the Head/Game Brawl/Howls of Outrage/Colin Campbell Press Conference. Let's remember all that's been said in the past few days, and see how it compares then. In other words, see you next week!

SEXY STRETCHER UPDATE:

I had to wait one day. See above.