Wednesday, November 14

Great. Leave it to Me to Call for Sanity. Again.

Yesterday Moose sent Norte and I an email, and using threatening language, demanded that one of us write a Bryan McCabe or Jiri Tlusty joke. So here goes:

Q: What do you get when Bryan McCabe chucks it across the middle in 3 x 3 overtime instead of passing it downlow to Sundin where a goal could possibly be scored?

A: Jiri Tlusty took some nudies.
Look, McCabe had his head down and didn't make the best decision of his life, no question. But I can count a dozen times where he's won it for the Leafs in overtime, like last spring when he sent a bomb in against the Flyers to keep the Leafs in the playoff hunt. So seriously, give him a break. He's not Steve Smith for Christs sake.

I'm not sure why Antropov was even out there in the first place. I'm a fan of his - a big one, but why him? Why not Wellwood? He only scored twice that night, and was obviously feeling it. Why not Blake who is suffering from the biggest case of Due-itis I've ever seen. Who knows, maybe Blake would have caught up to Komisarek? Who knows. As Komisarek was going in on the longest breakaway in history, I thought, "This is Raycroft's season right here". Can you imagine if he'd saved it? Love, sweet love. The complexion of his Leaf tenure could have swung right there and then. Komisarek had his head down the whole way, and because of that, Raycroft knew he was going 5 hole. Unfortunately Andrew didn't have his blade down flush on the ice, and the puck caught his stick's angle and jumped through. Raycroft was shocked it went in.

Not that I'm blaming him or anyone for the loss. Raycroft had a great game, and made some real saves on a surprising (for now) Montreal team. He's earned another start, so I think we'll see him against Boston. As for Carey Price. OK, I'm sold. The new goalie for the Los Angeles Kings will be Jan Halak. Jan, I'm sure you're a terrific guy, but please put a sign up in front of your place in Val d'Ors or wherever you live, because you are moving to beautiful Marina Del Ray. Price is really good (for now). All that needs to happen is the kid wins the Vezina, Bob Gainey gives him all the money in Canada, and he doesn't make another save for them. But until then, he is fucking good.

Jiri Tlusty. I can hear everyone in Toronto screaming from here. Why don't you all just shut up. Wow! A 19 year old kid a million miles from home did something stupid that he didn't want the world to see! Incredible! 10 minutes ago, I was running around my house playing air guitar with a tennis racket, but I was just (a tiny, tiny) bit too mature to film it and put in on Youtube. That's the only difference. And oooh, he touched tongues with another guy! Big deal! I'm sure somewhere there's a picture of Washingtron with his dick in a jar of peanut butter which his Edmonton friends should send to me, but still, Jesus Christ! Taking pictures and sending them to EVERYONE is what teenagers do. Doing dumb, ill-advised shit is what being a teenager is all about. REMEMBER?? Really, the biggest mistake he made was doing this as a hockey player in Canada, let alone Toronto. Unfortunately he's not in Tennessee where guys are shooting under performing dogs in the woods to steal the headlines from him.

The kid is a really good hockey player, and from what I hear, a good person. And HE'S OURS! He is a Toronto Maple Leaf! Let's not force him to regret the moment his name was called he pulled on the most beautiful sweater in the world, alright?


Anonymous said...

Wurd to that.

Norte said...

Absolutely. Jesus Christ....he's a fucking hockey player not the Pope.
Even then...who gives a shit?

Moose said...

1) That joke at the beginning is actually quite brilliant.

2) No, McCabe is NOT Steve Smith. Steve Smith only did it once.

3) Totally agree about Tlusty. After all, there are pictures of your dad tonguing me floating around out there!

Norte said...

I hate to say it Moose but there are photos of Greener's dad tonguing me as well.

Perhaps it was a bad choice that it was my anus though.

Loser Domi said...

I think I figured out what happened to Tlusty:

He has one of those "spy-cams" you order from the back of 1950smagazines that can, like, see through clothes and doors and stuff.