Saturday, December 8

Bruins Desperate to Ruin Rask

Distant Bruin North Star Tuukka Rask will get to wear the pinnie that reads "It's Up to You Tonight!" against the Leafs at ACC. You know, if there's one thing young goalies really thrive on, it's their team throwing them to the wolves and giving them too much pressure and responsibility too early in their careers. No wait, how does that go again? Oh yeah, throwing a young goalie to the wolves and giving them too much pressure and responsibility too early is the total best way to ruin their careers.

Young goalies are like crocodile eggs. Keep them nice and cool in the nest for a while and they all turn out male. Get a little too much heat on there, and they all turn out female. And with the desperate state of the Bruins goaltending department, I think what we might be looking at a here is a female crocodile.

The Bruins traded for bullet-headed, "What About Me?" award winner Alex Auld this week to stop the bleeding, but they're in trouble. Manny Fernandez is on a conditioning stint in the minors, but with a herniated disc, he's still weeks away. Tim "Tahwmus" Thomas pulled his groin out in New Jersey, so he's out for a while. It's now up to Auld and Rask. A young guy like Rask has got to know he's the future of the team and will want to show the Bruins everything he's got. Boston brass know this but are in too hot a situation to try and time out his enthusiasm. And poor Alex Auld. Once again he's in a three-way dogfight for a long-lasting job, which seems to be his story everywhere he goes.

All this makes you appreciate the pace the Leafs are going at with Justin Pogge. Barring tragedy, he'll not see any Leaf ice time this year, and even then, I bet JFJ brings up Scott Clemensen first. The kid must be chomping at the bit right now watching Rask get NHL experience. Seeing as how the Leafs chose him over Rask, he's got to feel that he's better than the Fin. Which is good, I want him thinking that. Hopefully there's a bird in his ear reminding him that discretion is the better part of valor. No, not that. All dressed up and nowhere to go. No, no. Idle Hands Go to the Genitals. Yes, that's the one.

So Boston's kind of reeling right now. Look for the Leafs to push a lot of traffic in Rask's crease. The Toronto media loved that Rask stood on his head and beat the Boys last time, so the Leafs are desperate not to read those same lazy headlines again.
I think Blake gets a couple tonight. It's time.


UNSEXY POST GAME UPDATE: Rask didn't even play! Awesome! Boston started trapping IN THE FIRST PERIOD! Awesome! Claude Julien keeps his miserable job for another bad-for-the-game day. Awesome!

UNSEXY POST GAME UPDATE 2: In spite of update 1, everything else I said was right on the money. So, there's that.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

that was the stupidest analogy i've ever heard with the crocodile eggs... and Rask didn't even play tonight.

Love the blog... but I expect better... where's the post game blog?

Loser Domi said...

"Idle Hands Go to the Genitals. " I think we have a tagline contest winner!