Tuesday, June 24

HS/HS PRESENTS: MOOSE WEEK, PART I



Wellwood, Sundin...and Dude?



I've just returned from my Monday night beer league game, nursing the wounds from an 8-2 beating. To make matters worse, tonight's result comes on the heels of an 8-0 drubbing in our Sunday night league, after which, Greener and I set a record for longest sustained silence on a car ride home. Call me old fashioned, but if I'm gonna get my ass pounded like that I'd at least like to cuddle afterwards.

*crickets*

What, too aggressive? Well, tough, 'cos this is "Moose Week" here at HS/HS, and that's how we're gonna roll. How about that special avatar, huh? I go the extra mile for you guys, because I value our loyal readers. Unlike some other member of the team who has apparently become something of a 'Big Time Charlie'. Oh sure, he says it's just a temporary gig, but Greener's got a
bit of that front-man ego. One minute he's "guest editing," the next he'll be "doing a couple solo projects." Not to worry HS/HS readers, he'll be back next week. Besides, if Greener ever left HS/HS it would have all the makings of David Lee Roth leaving Van Halen. He'd pimp himself out, shake his ass in unitard, then drop "Yankee Rose" on us and come crawling back in shame. On to hockey...

Fletcher Gives Red Wings Permission to Speak to Wellwood

I know, it's shocking but true. The Red Wings have been given permission to speak to Wellwood. So have the Penguins...and 28 other teams. Excellent Edmonton Oilers blogger, Lowetide, is reporting that the Leafs will not qualify Tubby McGorgemyself, making him an unrestricted free agent. Let the wrath of Leafs Nation hail down. You'd have to think that Fletcher tried to move him at the draft and found no takers. What's that say about his demise as a hockey player? 45 points as a rookie in the NHL, and now nobody is even willing to chance a 7th round pick on him. Can't say that I blame Fletcher, at this point Wellwood would only be taking ice time away from another (more committed) prospect whose development might otherwise be slowed. I will say this, he's gonna look good in a Nuremberg Ice Tigers uniform. Mmmm, bratwurst.


Mats More Like It (copyright Sun Media Corporation)

No, I'm not gonna talk about loyalty, or what Sundin does or doesn't owe the Toronto Maple Leafs. That's some bullshit anyway. The real significance of the Leafs granting Montreal permission to speak to Sundin is it signals that the rebuild really is underway. Don't let Jamal Mayers fool you, this team is starting over. If anything Mayers might be the Leaf most likely to earn his money this year, after Ron Wilson taps him on the shoulder every other night to "change the momentum." Without Sundin's goals and leadership it could be a long year, and there's not a lot of help to be had in free agency come July 1st. Leafs fans should be hoping that Montreal can close the deal, because the return could be significant. Top prospect Mikhail Grabovski (left)? A 2009 first round pick? Chris Higgins? Where is Montreal gonna find ice-time for Sundin, Koivu AND Plekanec? Could Plekanec be coming back in the deal? The Toronto Maple Leafs weren't gonna win a Stanley Cup with Mats Sundin, any of those assets would help expedite the rebuild. Which leads to the next question. Who's gonna be the number one center on the Leafs? Better hope it's Patrick Marleau (via Pavel Kubina to the Sharks), and that means Leafs fans should be hoping that Brian Campbell doesn't re-sign in San Jose.

The Chronicles of Sarnia

20 years ago this week, I got to spend a summer at Shamrock Hockey School in Lucan/London, Ontario. Ah, good times. For those in need of a little geography lesson, Lucan is a little town outside London. Most of you probably know it as the home of influential "shit kickin country" band (their words not mine), The Moonshine Riders. Jared, remember the night they rocked the Rose N' Crown? Holy shit, I was soooo wasted that night. And you're welcome, Moonshine Riders, 'cos you just got the HS/HS bump! I think my point here was that Lucan was a really small town. But for a little kid like me, born in Los Angeles it was great! I got to play hockey twice a day (on ice!), skate in the same arena as the London Knights, and meet some great people. During my stay, I lived with a nice family in Sarnia...in a trailer park...in a renovated school bus. This puppy comfortably slept four, full kitchen, half-bath, all the comforts you expect from your local rapid transit vehicle. If I remember correctly it looked kinda like this:

Yeah, that's about right. The only thing missing from that picture is me crammed into the bottom bunk bed, crying under my covers. I was living in a fucking bus! At any rate, my bunk-mate that summer was the only son of the family, a kid my age named Dude. Now imagine for a moment: a teenager from Los Angeles, who quite readily uses the popular colloquialisms of the day, shacked-up with a kid named Dude.

Moose: Damn, dude.

Dude: What?

Moose: What?

Dude: You call me?

Moose: No, sorry...I just can't find my black friction tape.

Repeat 12-times a day.

Believe me, Abbott and Costello only wish they had that kind of fodder. Whenever I was away from the rink, Dude would take me around the trailer park to play horseshoes, rock some Bingo at the Rec Center, or hang out at the Pool Hall. One of my lasting memories was shooting pool while a couple of mulletted dudes (not Dude) at the table next to us, kept playing the same shitty song over and over on the jukebox. Uh huh, "Yankee Rose" - KICK IT!

6 comments:

eyebleaf said...

"Call me old fashioned, but if I'm gonna get my ass pounded like that I'd at least like to cuddle afterwards."
*crickets*


golden.

and there's nothing like coming to canada and living in a bus and playing some hockey. you know how we do up here.

way to hold down the fort, player.

Jaredoflondon said...

Lucan....dear god.

That place should have banjo music playing on loudspeakers 24/7.

nice little hockey rink though. Good ice.

Chemmy said...

Moose, I might have a little action for you over at Pension Plan Puppets.

Meet me at midnight behind the box. I'll be the hyena, you'll see.

Moose said...

Nav: Thanks - And, yeah, I know how you do it up there. Plus, being the worst player on the ice by a fucking mile was fun.

Jared: Don't knock Lucan. The round-the-block line for the opening of the public pool was something to behold.

Chemmy: You tease (hilarious).

messica said...

sorry for the ass whoopin'. i know there was someone small and cuddly in your bed... greener went home with you that night, right?

Moose said...

You haven't lived until you've spooned with Greener.