Thursday, June 19

TGIDD!

Yes, thank God it's draft day. The day we've all been waiting for for such a long, long time. Remember the "Slide for Stamkos"? That was this day! Crazy, I know.
This is also the day when we get to listen to 6,000 tubs of shit in Jorts boo our team and G.M. when they get announced. While Fletcher is up on the podium, watch him carefully as he speaks through clenched teeth thanking Ottawa and the Senators for their hospitality. That'll be language a civilized person uses instead of saying "Thanks for finally turning down the Judas Priest at around 2:30 am, you inbred creeps!"
Along those same lines, Windsor Spitfire center Josh Bailey is now on suicide watch because he's just heard that TSN held their mock draft and Pierre McGuire had Ottawa take him at the number 18 pick.
McGuire, a marble-mouthed New Jerseyan whose made an unbelievable career for himself by yelling everything, has hypnotized every broadcast radio and television outlet in North America into believing that "VOLUME" is the same as "TALENT". I tried to endure watching him on TSN while he sat and yelled his script at James Duthie who sat two feet away from him. He tried to say that Bailey is a two-way Cory Stillman type with play making abilities. Jesus, you've got to feel for Bailey, being linked on TV to that team. Poor kid.

Someone whose dancing with the stars though is a strapping young Dane by the name of Mikkel Boedker. The TSN draft had the Leafs chose Boedker at #7. Personally I think he's great, but I would want the Leafs to get someone a little more dynamic. But, he's a top 10 pick in a super deep draft so, very good, the Leafs get him. This will certainly happen unless the Kings go way off the board as they did last year, which would push everyone down a spot. That would probably mean the Leafs take Luke Schenn... and, oh, I just got hard. Then again, imagine if Filatov gets passed on and the Leafs take him? Oh! I'm now even harder. Then again, imagine a fun birthday dinner at The Keg?

So let's see what Kliff and the Gang will do in Ottawa. I know a little of what they'll be going through as I have to spend the draft in L.A.'s version of Ottawa: the seat on the couch next to Moose. You've got to feel for me. Poor kid.

5 comments:

Chemmy said...

First move towards winning Stanley Cup in Toronto: Trade draft pick for Jamal Mayers.

Ooooh I hope Mr. Mayers is excited to engrave his name on the cup.

Jaredoflondon said...

The first domino is in place!

eyebleaf said...

i want steak.

Moose said...

Hey, feel free to stay in that dark cave you call an apartment and adjust the tin foil on your black and white, you ungrateful fucking jackal.

Heather said...

I dunno if I can handle draft day. I am going to be too busy screaming about how I hate Kyle Beach and how Tokarski should have been ranked higher than 9.

Btw, order me some cheesecake.