Tuesday, November 18

Bruins 3, Posts 4

There's a scene in every single "Pink Panther" movie, where, to the amazement of everyone, bumbling French detective Inspector Jacques Clouseau actually manages to solve the case he is on, despite having absolutely no actual abilities to do so. In one of the films, his former boss, Inspector Dreyfus, goes completely insane because of Clouseau's diabolical ability to fail upwards. These are great movies to watch, and as is usually the case, there's a parallel between today's NHL, and mid-to-late 70's Hollywood comedies, and its name is Tim Thomas.

On Monday night, late bloomer Thomas- and by late bloomer, I mean he broke into the league in his mid-to-late 70's- did exactly what he does best(?), and that is stymie a better Maple Leafs team by failing upwards enough to get a win. Thomas has that no style-style down so well, he makes the former principle of that school, D. Hasek, look like a mathematician. Tim's goaltending basically breaks down him moving randomly around his crease when he sees the opposing players moving toward him. Then, as they get closer, he falls to the ice until he hears a whistle. And...Oh, what do you know? The puck with the little Leaf on it is in his pads! Somehow he's done it again! Thomas is kind of like those retarded guys who can correctly multiply huge sums in their head, but when you ask them to write their names, they take a crayon and write an "X".

The handsome/multi-dimensional James Duthie wrote a good piece on Thomas at TSN.ca few weeks ago. While somehow restraining himself from insinuating that Thomas is retarded, Duthie writes that because of how Thomas plays, he considers him the most entertaining guy to watch in the NHL. I agree that he is, uh, interesting to watch, but I will stop waaaay short of where Bruins color man and full time homer Andy "The Departed" Brickley goes, which is to fantasy land and back every night. Listen to Brickley, and "Tawmus" is a master of the position, saving the game for Boston each shift. Like last night against the Leafs, when he saved the game for the B's each of the 4 times the Leafs cranked the puck off the post.

Well, the Bruins win over the Leafs 3-2. For Chief Inspector Tim Thomas, another case well closed. Now he can go home and expect to be stalked and attacked by his valet and manservant Cato Fong, admirably played by the nunchuk wielding mongoloid, Zdeno Chara.

14 comments:

Chemmy said...

The awful thing about games like last night's is playing the what if game.

Watch this:

What if Vesa Toskala stopped the two soft goals he let in?

What if he only lets in one soft goal but a Leafs shot goes off the post and in?

Argh.

Loser Domi said...

Thomas is kind of like those retarded guys who can correctly multiply huge sums in their head, but when you ask them to write their names, they take a crayon and write an "X".

So what you're saying is, Tim Thomas is Rainman?

eyebleaf said...

Oh, Tim Thomas. What a bastard.

"Dave Schultz" said...

argh, LD beat me on the Rainman goodies.

Dear Vesa, please stop sucking. kthxbai

The Bastard said...

"stymie a better Maple Leafs team by failing upwards enough to get a win"

A better Maple Leafs team? Since when is 7-8-4 better than 11-3-4? Did I miss something or do they teach math some weird way up in Ontario?
Oh, and don't feel singled out... Thomas has done it to better teams than Toronto (Vancouver, Edmonton, Chicago, Buffalo to name a few...)

Tom said...

There are two factors at play here:

1) Thomas is really good. Give the guy his due. Hasek was an all-time great with basically the same style; butterfly is not always the best technique, especially if you aren't shaped like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man.

2) Maybe more importantly, the Bruins have good defensive players who feed Thomas relatively easy saves. Most shots against him come from an angle that allows him to commit completely to the near side, and they don't allow a lot of easy passes through the crease. They very rarely allow breakaways and only allow minimal odd-man breaks. Also it's a real bitch trying to get to a rebound against Chara or Wideman or Ward. I saw somewhere that the Bruins are one of the best teams in the league at reducing the quality of other teams' shots -- I'd believe it.

Greener said...

Look you Bastard, when I mentioned stymie a better Leafs team, I'm including his victories over the Leafs over the past 3 or 4 seasons. Also, last night, the Leafs just seemed to have the edge in the game overall. Also: welcome, dude. Tom, good to see you as well. You other guys, I'm mind goosing you right now.

Greener said...

Tom, yeah, he is good. That's kind of the point of the piece. Despite his style, he just gets it done...and almost always over the Leafs. Duthie's post that I mentioned gives him his due as well.

Moose said...

I have to agree with my friend Greenner, James Duthie IS handsome.

Jaredoflondon said...

He's a good goalie, def..definatly a good goalie

Anthony Woods said...

I used to get all cuddly about Thomas being a feel-good story when he broke into the league at his age. I kind of shrugged his contract extension off and said "Good for him". Then I heard some background info on him and how much he loves to hunt bear with a bow. Call me whatever you like, but I can't stand hunting predators for sport. I also apply a hobby like that to what I think of the individual. Tim "The Nuge" Thomas can suck it

Connie said...

Now he can go home and expect to be stalked and attacked by his valet and manservant Cato Fong, admirably played by the nunchuk wielding mongoloid, Zdeno Chara.

Holy shit, you totally just said that.

Greener said...

Connie: You heard me.

Norte said...

Essentially you are saying that Chara is a greedy, little yellow pimp?